When I was in my early 20’s, I hustled my ass off. I worked 2 jobs and a side hustle. I drank 8 cups of coffee a day and popped No Doz pills to work at night.
And then I burned the fuck out. And crashed hard.
And it wasn’t worth it.
There’s a lot of folks who will tell you: “grind to the point of exhaustion. Chase wealth and rest later. Make work your only religion.”
That advice is poison. It will leave you broken and hurt and tired and alone.
It wasn’t easy to rebuild my life after that breakdown.
Years later - I don’t own a house. I’m not wealthy. By the standards of the Hustle Bros and Growth Hackers, I’d be called a failure.
But I do what I love, I’m passionate about my writing, and I have a partner and a kid who I adore. None of that came from sacrificing myself on the altar of the grind.
@Daojoan
Hey Joan I have a similar story, I thought that’s what we were supposed to do as well. I worked myself into my first burnout at 22 and then at 34…at 44 I think I’m pulling out of my burnout finally. Baby steps sooo not worth it. I just can’t live that way anymore. I do give time away. The only difference is I am the one choosing who to give my time to from now on.
While trying to pull myself up.
Cheers and sounds like you’re doing wonderful!
@Daojoan A truly horrific property of that modus, is that you are absolutely deaf and blind to external warnings. Like, friends and family begging, screaming or reasoning with you to stop.
You just feel they are dragging you down, holding you back, in envy or incompetence.
So it’s not just you burning yourself, it’s a public spectacle where you burn yourself at the stake, with loved ones and others forced to watch.
@Daojoan I pulled 90 hour weeks thinking that you were supposed to do that in your early 20s.
Then I fell asleep while driving. Ended up in a field by the highway, thankfully... No one else around.
Sacrificing other people's safety (and your own) for some 'hard work' bullshit that doesn't really get you anywhere is never worth it. I nearly didn't have a long term to enjoy a 'reward' from! Or could have imperiled someone else's.
@Daojoan the other thing I've realised over the years: this striving is considered a virtue, but at root it's nothing more than competition for resources
@mxtthxw@fifilamoura@Daojoan Crypto probably would’ve crashed no matter what, I think it was just a matter of time. Just another list of things Silicon Valley obsesses with, along with cloud, AI, and NFTs.
@Daojoan Learned that the hard way in my 20s. I used to work three jobs (two full-time and a part-time job). It was the most foolish thing I could have done to myself. I was nowhere to be found in anything resembling a personal life (which I avoided having), was utterly miserable and lied to myself the whole time, and the money I did make meant zilch by 30. Nothing is as important as your relationships, your family and friends, the people you love. I finally woke up to this, but I wasted my 20s.
@Daojoan 500 boosts in 36 hours; many here seem to resonate. 👍
Burnout: if you can learn the lesson another way, avoid it.
"Occupational burnout is a chronic condition that occurs in people who experience a lot of stress at work, & who do not have a chance to recover from that stress. Very often, people have the feeling that they are unable to meet the expectations of their employer. Their condition often occurs together with other conditions, such as clinical depression.
-- wikipedia
@Daojoan I realized how pointless and destructive it was when I did a census & had to take actual stock of the number of hours, abuse & stress from day job that was poverty wages & underpaid for the skills plus the work that was to do self employment and side hustle to hopefully escape the day job, & help pay bills…I realized I had been working 88 hours a week for 10 years with NO increase in quality of life…in fact the harder I worked, I made less and less and was able to afford less and less.
@Daojoan Money is important, but only to get enough to live comfortably and happily and for retirement. The rest basically is to show off… My goal is to work less, not more.
@Daojoan I worked production on festivals like Bumbershoot and Womad. Drank a ton and pounded speed with my coffee. Now my knees and back hurt. Worth it though.
Agreed that its terrible advice to grind and work to the detriment of everything else.
One thing that happened to me and some friends/Acquaintances that also work in tech was not developing other critical skills because of the outsized focus on work.
I know so many people that crash and have to heal and learn how to socialize, build hobbies, etc in their 30s which is far harder.
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