@Ultragramps@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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Ultragramps

@Ultragramps@lemmy.blahaj.zone

Consider me a consultant and confidant conveying coherent communications.

“But that won’t happen to us, cause it’s always been a matter of trust.” - William Joel

The Perfect Spotify (A Tribute)

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Ultragramps,
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Ultragramps,
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Ultragramps,
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The publisher for Morning Joe Scarborough apparently launders GOP money and keeps Matt Gaetz in his old seat (FLA - 1). The dinosaurs are hoping their traditional media monopoly will drown out the counter arguments on the internet. This explains Sinclair media buyouts and that famous video of scripted joirnalism somewhat as well.

Ultragramps,
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Don’t forget the original black and white German silent film Das Reboot, often mislabeled as Metropolis.

Ultragramps, (edited )
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♪Episode Song References♪

ᕕ( ᐛ)ᕗ


Highlights

  • 00:01:53 "Impendent woman"
  • 00:06:00 Juicy Couture callback to Chetney’s sweatpants
  • 00:18:53 Opal gets the Spider Queen info download on Ruidus and The Sleeper within (Predathos)
  • 00:19:48 Aimee begins to sound feral getting into character.
  • 00:21:26 Opal attempts to use perfume to calm the Spider Queen
  • 00:22:54 Matt’s happy Bless dance
    Dariax:"Come at me Queen!"
  • 00:23:45 Anjali:"Boof."
  • 00:25:49 Matt:“Channelling our friend, Luis.”
    Aabria:“Zerxus! Arkwards (awkward)!”
    Matt:“It saved Avalir.”
    Aabria:"Oof. Too soon. Too fucking soon."
  • 00:26:45 Just trying to get "dick-adjacent"
  • 00:28:33 Aimee:"Remember the handies!"
  • 00:33:33 Aabria:(cursing Bless under her breath)"Motherfucker."
  • 00:35:25 Erica:"Thanks so much. Honor to be nominated, happy to be here."
  • 00:36:26 Erica:"Yeah it actually says, ‘Fuck Aabria’."
  • 00:41:41 I have made you. I have given you martial prowess, I’ve offered you magic to serve my aims. Perhaps it is my fault for not telling you the stakes. There is a being, a beast, a monster that followed my siblings. This thing followed them, chased them, and threatens to return. I have no love for the Spider Queen or her working, but she fights now to defend her life. And i serve life and death. That means so do you. Morrighan Ferus, why are you fighting, and what are you fighting for?..
    You are no abomination, Opal, when she agreed to wear the vestige, she knew or didn’t consider what that would entail. I have not asked that of you yet. It is a conversation. What she agreed to, she agreed to. So you have a choice to make. I can tell you. Should I tell you?
    Run! This is not where you die! I did not make you mine to fall here.
  • 00:49:45 Aabria:“Do I want to be mean?”
    Robbie:“Sure.”
    Matt:"Yeah. Always go mean."
  • 00:51:26 Cyrus is struck. Matt and Robbie look down and then at each other with instant regret for tempting fate.
  • 00:52:10 Dariax:"Wait, uppies, uppies!"
  • 00:56:12 Fy’ra Rai asks the Wildmother’s blessing to assist the Spider Queen. The response, though unspoken, is an invitation for Fy’ra Rai to pledge herself to the Wildmother as the official champion before joining Opal on her path.
  • 01:03:44 Fy’ra with arms wide
  • 01:08:13 Fy’ra Rai pledges herself to the Wildmother after being counterspelled and finding Dariax in a panic.
  • 01:08:30 "It’s all I have."
  • 01:12:33 Matt explains to Anjali that they’re still in the first round of combat and he hasn’t gone yet.
  • 01:13:16 Opal’s cast of Suggestion succeeds on the Double D’s "Just walk away. Go see Orym."
  • 01:13:42 Aabria:“Naur.”
    Erica:"Aur naur."
  • 01:15:25 Aabria’s slow grin at the suggestion to find Orym.
  • 01:23:56 Aabria:"Yeah, she didn’t give you syphilis.“
  • 01:27:03 Aabria:'How do I get the back of her knee vagina?”
    Matt:"If it worked for Scott Pilgrim, it can work for you."
  • 01:29:34 Dariax finally gets his turn. Casts Mass Cure Wounds and leaves.
  • 01:32:35 Matt:"I’m a messy baby."
  • 01:38:48 A spider crushes nearby gems and Opal loses the memory of her name before it was Opal.
  • 01:41:40 Giant spider with mammalian teeth.
  • 01:43:36 2nd failed death save (rolled at disadvantage due to the poisoned condition as per DM flavor)
  • 01:45:26 Opal:“You’ve taken everything from me, I have nothing else to lose.”
    SQ:“That’s definitely not true.” a spider minion immediately kills Cyrus Wyvernwing.
  • 01:45:53 If you watch closely, you can see Robbie’s eyes flash right under the brim of his hat in a cool-looking way. The beginning of Dorian Storm’s revenge arc.
  • 01:47:07 Mic Drop Moment SQ:“Well, at least they know it wasn’t your fault because you decided to run your fucking mouth.”
    Matt:(exhales)
    Even through it all, you cannot help but hear the shake in her voice.
  • 01:49:54 Matt does the Hastag Blessed Jutsu
  • 01:51:27 Fan Art Moment Morrighan’s brutal revenge kill on the spider that killed Cyrus.
  • 01:52:33 "…and I look over to the dick gems…"

Drama & Dickgems replaces Dungeons & Dragons for a bit.

  • 01:53:24 “…like a tiara, cheaply made, where the gemstones fall out.” (callback to the Byroden Beauty Pageant crown)
  • 01:54:10 Morrighan:“I want you to know that no matter what you do here, you can always come back. No matter what. I know you don’t mean it and I know you’ll never ever be her abomination.”
    Opal:“Sorry.”
    Morrighan:"You don’t need to be, this is bigger than all of us."
  • 01:55:12 Erica:“There’s so much blood and it’s all over the dick gems.”
    Aabria:"Please take inspiration."
  • 01:57:03 *As you turn your back on Opal, taking with you the dick gems and the sense that there is some part of her the Spider Queen will never take away from her. You are joined at your side by the spirit of Cyrus, as your time with the Matron of Ravens is just beginning. One of the duties of her chosen is to escort people ‘Home’…
  • 01:58:23 Aabria:“Stress piss brought to you by WizKids.” (pun!)
  • 02:04:57 Dorian casts Geas at 7th level compelling the giant spider to hunt and kill the Spider Queen for a year.
  • 02:09:52 ASMR session
  • 02:11:37 Mic Drop Moment Anjali:"I just gave myself to the goddess to save Opal. I’m either gonna tear that shit off her head or I’m going to be fighting beside her for the gods."
  • 02:18:03 Fy’ra Rai joins the call.
    Aimee:"Now entering: Fy’ra Rai (great impression!)
  • 02:19:13 Fy’ra:"No, I have a sister to walk beside."
  • 02:23:49 SQ:"You are aware of the danger. Do you know what she’s up against? What your goddess is up against. Ludinus doesn’t know. He is a petulant child."
  • 02:25:25 You are locked in a moment with the Spider Queen, a long one. In the time that you have known them, you knew that she’d circled your friends, finding her way in through the vestige you all found. Though you were not there when it was found, you were part. Who to tempt? Who to bring over? The Spider Queen is many things, but not a fool, and she knew better than to bark up your particular tree too hard. But she is Rattled. You know that all of this, the death and destruction and compulsion is from someone with no other recourse. Who calls themself a god and what happens when that pride is shaken; When mortality is back on the table? You are looking a woman in the eye and she needs all the friends she can get.
  • 02:32:03 Opal:"If we see another side to this, I’m going to call you a cunt with my whole chest."
  • 02:33:33 Dariax finishes climbing down. Seeing Dorian and Morrighan leaving Cyrus’ body behind, he obeys Opal’s warning and leaves in direction of Dorian.
  • 02:42:42 Dorian:"I want revenge, Dariax, badly. Do you think you can take revenge against the universe? Do you think you can fight back against gods and monsters?
  • 02:46:46 Dorian gives Dariax his lute and Cyrus’ favorite cup and sets him up in a good spot to make a living as a busker. Then he turns away, drops his smile, casts invisibility and leaves to find the Tempest.
  • 02:48:19 Aimee:“He left us. He left us!” Jurassic Park reference
  • 02:49:15 “Titties out in blue and chiffon” Dorian seeks the Tempest in Zephrah. Erica does a titty dance.

INTERMISSION

Ultragramps,
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It is here, Dorian Storm, after emerging from the tree, the Voice of the Tempest that you’ve briefly encountered in your previous travels with Orym before you and Fearne and him made your way to the continent of Marquet, to adventures that have thrown all manner of chaos, challenge, and sorrow into everyone’s lives since. Still holding close to that pain, you watch as Keyleth approaches, acknowledging you, present though magically cloaked, and says,
"Dorian, it is good to see you. What brings you to Zephrah?"

  • 03:09:13 Dorian begs Keyleth to retrieve the body of Cyrus.
  • 03:17:05 Dorian receives a sending message from Orym.
  • 03:20:43 Keyleth:“It all comes to the Hellcatch, where the god eater that sits in the core of that moon seeks to be released and devour the pantheon.” Keyleth briefs Dorian on the situation with Ruidus.
  • 03:24:48 Dorian:"Well, I would say ‘To the Ends of the Earth’, but it seems as if we’re already there."
  • 03:29:42 Reunited and it feels so good. Laura enters with a titty dance inspired by Erica. Lots of hugs happen.
  • 03:36:59 Dorian doesn’t know how to talk to Evoroa and reverts to pet talk.
  • 03:37:27 Fan Art Moment Evoroa’s cytaa skittering out, grabbing food from Dorian, screeching, and returning to the robes.
  • 03:43:22 Dorian:“It’s a long story. My brother died. My two best friends became the champions of the Matron of Ravens and the Spider Queen.”
    Imogen:“How long ago was that, Dorian?”
    Dorian:"Yesterday."
  • 03:47:33 Dorian:"It almost feels like years of lore."
  • 03:48:13 The classic Exandrian stage play of Pac Man
  • 03:48:32 Dorian:“What is your plan in all of this?”
    noises
    Dorian:"That is not a good sound."
  • 03:50:45 Imogen:“Are you back, Dorian?” (John Wick reference?)
  • 03:56:06 You begin to recall a handful of stories that Dariax had mentioned in passing of a particular woman that taught him that you can be both attracted and deeply afraid of a person.
  • 03:59:30 Liam becomes the Aliens Meme Guy.
  • 04:00:00 Ashton’s booze run.
  • 04:02:47 Cheers.
Ultragramps, (edited )
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Ultragramps, (edited )
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♪Episode Song References♪

ᕕ( ᐛ)ᕗ


Highlights

  • 00:12:48 Learning about the Exhaustion debuff.
  • 00:14:28 I:“They needs rest.”
    Raidion:“So do I.”
    I:"I is fine…"
  • 00:17:00 Kelnys:"I feel weird…Tingly."
  • 00:17:15 Dolly:“You know, back home, people used to tell me I could ‘convince the sky it was red’ and that I could ‘argue a crow white’, stuff like that. Up there on that mountain, that was the first time I really felt speechless seeing something. That was not good; didn’t feel good.”
    Morgan:“The world’s changed.”
    Dolly:"Yeah. It feels that way and now every time I think of that-- can’t even call it a wolf anymore, up there, I don’t wanna end up like that. Crawling along on its belly, barely able to say or feel anything. Is that what’s in store for us?"
  • 00:20:43 Alex’s first critical fail with a natural 1.
  • 00:21:20 A shared trait between Kobolds and Hobbits.
  • 00:27:50 Morgan:"You’re never out. You’re just in something else."
  • 00:28:40 Aoife rolls a 25 for persuasion
    Harry:“You wanna hear some Morgan lore?”
    Alex:“Some Lore-gan.”
    Just like everyone else I suppose. The Web helped me do something I couldn’t’ve done alone. It helped me hurt the people who needed to be hurt and that sometimes still feels right. Sometimes that still feels good. For the rest of the time, I don’t know. I have nothing but The Web. I have no one but The Web anymore.
  • 00:31:27 Fan Art Moment I:“You is strong, Big Scale.”
    Kelnys:"You is wily, little brother."
  • 00:33:33 Kelnys:“I think you’re all neat.”
    Morgan:"Cheers."
  • 00:34:22 Hollie cannot hide her doubts about Morgan taking first watch.
  • 00:39:05 Raidion reveals a mysterious deck of cards as the first item he found in his possession after awakening with no memory.
  • 00:40:50 Raidion’s regret
  • 00:44:27 Morgan:"I will not take lessons in faith from you."
  • 00:46:54 Endellion:“I don’t like the idea of being that weak.”
    Ben’s “Oh damn!” face is priceless. Alex’s too.
  • 00:47:51 Ben:"Oh no…She Dead!"
  • 00:49:10 LEVEL 4
    Raidion rolls 6/6, adds 2 CON for +8HP to his total.
    Endellion rolls 6/10, adds 2 CON for +8HP to her total.
    Kelnys rolls 5/8, adds 3 CON for +8HP to his total.
    I rolls 4/8, adds 2 CON for +6HP to his total.
    Dolly rolls a 2/8, adds 0 CON for +2 HP to her total.
  • 00:56:15 Spoon shenanigans after completing a long rest.
  • 00:57:24 You start to make your way down the mountain pass. It takes you about half a day to get down that mountain.
  • 00:57:48 Doug:“I think, because we’ve seen the squishy one just get pummeled, I’d like to offer this wonderful magical mail that I found.”
    Ben:“Do the voice.”
    Kelnys:“Hey Dolly, you want my mail?” Alex breaks laughing
  • 00:59:35 As you descend, you have this sensation of leaving ‘Spring’ again and moving back into cold, but moving into a natural cold. The air begins to chill and Winter, as you reach the base of the mountain, has gripped the land. There’s snow thick on the ground; more has fallen even since you first began your ascent. After the Eternal Spring of the mountain, this cold air is almost like falling into water and you’re steps are sluggish in this powdery snow.
    Ahead of you is a collection of tents. Great vast tents that you saw from the top of the mountain. The bright colors of the Festival of Benediction, which are made more vibrant against the stark white of the snow.
    You can see in the joints of these canvas tents, where they overlap. Little curls of smoke drifting up towards the sky. You can smell (when the breeze blows in the right direction) you can smell roasted meat. You can hear, every now and then, across the wind, the sound of a flute or the beat of a drum. You feel like you’re moving towards life after so long in this sort of stasis and darkness of the mountain. These preparations, by the time you get closer, are well underway and there’s dozens of workers. They’re wearing these robes of rich blue and they’re constructing a wooden stage under the first of these tents that you reach. They’re bell tents, and they’re supported by these huge poles, some of these tents are hundreds of yards in diameter. They’ve been specifically erected, to house and shelter from the elements, the thousands of people who’ve made their way here for the Festival of Benediction.
    Just to remind you, this is the festival that marks the true beginning of Winter on the second moon of Winter. It’s the time when the Antiqua descend from Mt Atria with instructions from The Virtuous and give the teachings that the gods are going to want acted upon this year.
  • 01:05:30 Harry:"Maybe not sexy concubines, but…if religiosity is sexy, Wooo!"
  • 01:13:00 Doug’s grunt of disapproval at the mention of children in Harry’s description.
  • 01:13:16 Harry busts out several vendor NPC voices.
  • 01:15:45 The group finds “Sister of the Earth” Jasmee
  • 01:22:42 Dolly:“Thank you!”
    INTERMISSION
    Jasmee has just said “Get behind me, I need space.” She looks at the six of you and she says “I’m sorry.”
    BATTLE MAP!
  • 01:40:45 Ben:"Camera three is getting one helluva show."
  • 01:45:00 "Let’s trust Aoife’s dice"
  • 01:49:10 Negotiations make a breakthrough
  • 01:52:24 Doug’s epic pop-up face.
  • 01:55:21 [censored]
  • 01:58:06 Morgan busts out an epic use of Dreadful Aspect. "There is no god. There is no light. You think I’m afraid of you?!"

Dreadful Aspect (click to reveal)Dreadful Aspect (Recharges after a Short or Long Rest): You exude magical menace. Each enemy within 30 feet of him must succeed on a DC 13 Wisdom saving throw or be frightened of you.

  • 01:59:22 Ben gets hyped for ya boi Morgan and nudges Hollie like a fan of the rival team at a football (soccer?) match.
    “Can I just say, that was very narratively satisfying.”
    Harry:"Namastae."
  • 02:08:44 Raidion busts out his brand new Hypnotic Gaze spell. Unfortunately Jasmee rolls a critical on the save and Harry makes it clear “That went badly.” Ben is clearly loving this and makes human tippy taps.
  • 02:10:44 "You have a guard all up in your grill."
  • 02:15:28 Ben:"What’s in the box?
  • 02:16:48 Aoife finally gets the scroll out and gives a look of “Christ, mate!” to the props person responsible.
  • 02:19:10 I uses the Beg ability in the middle of the fray, confusing the guards into disadvantage for the turn.
  • 02:24:33 Morgan decapitates a guard and "a little hand-painted portrait of the most beautiful litter of kittens you’ve ever seen, falls from his robes."
  • 02:29:13 Hollie:"Twat him!"
  • 02:29:33 Harry:"Morgan nearly died so many times and I make up some puppies and suddenly I’m the baddie."
  • 02:30:58 Fan Art Moment Jasmee’s spell reflecting off Raidion’s Shield.
    “You have no power here.”
    "Yes I do. Nice trick."
  • 02:31:27 Obligatory direct camera stare from Ben in the style of The Office after Harry’s song reference. Then he switches back to giddy smack talking mode.
  • 02:33:33 Raidion’s clutch cast of Minor Illusion to recreate the final portion of the message from the orbs in the Temple of the Gods.
  • 02:38:52 Dolly rolls a 24 on Persuasion to convince Jasmee of their innocence.
  • 02:41:12 Harry:"In many ways, The Quizzical Bear lives on."
  • 02:42:00 I retrieves the arrow from the guard he shot it with.
  • 02:43:55 Jasmee explains that she will spread word that the team as deceased to enable their escape from whatever nefarious forces seek their demise.
  • 02:44:50 Blight cured!
  • 02:48:27 Jasmee:“Your lives weren’t mine to take.”
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