More than a few trans women feel like we clawed our way out of the husk of a dead man, emerging like a cicada to scream defiance ceaselessly at the world with one continuous exhalation that lasts the rest of our lives and--
Ever have those days where you're kinda just tired and have zero filter because you're tired and the thirst is getting to you and you kinda wanna talk about degenerate nonsensr on main but it's a terrible idea and you're too bashful anyway?
I should probably get the hell off social media for the rest of the day.
So I'm a bit over two years into this stuff but with surrounding life I haven't gotten out to socialize much... busy with various things with partner medical issues and parenting, plus RSD. But a friend I've been talking to on twitter since very shortly after hatching explicitly invited me to a bonfire she had yesterday and I went down.
What a hoot! Ended up split close to half and half between trans folks and local friends of hers; hanging out around a fire, beers, s'mores, and nobody bothering us or being weird to us. I mean OK we were all weird but nobody treated any of us as anything other than our real gender.
I've met more altersex people than I ever expected since I started talking about my stuff on here. I still self-censor a fair bit, not out of shame, but because enough non-altersex (allosex? Too close to allosexual, but fucked if I know the term) always dip in that I end up spending a lot of time explaining anyway and it's just frustrating because I cen never get into the details of what I actually wanted to talk about because of it.
Celebrate every single fucking part of yourself that anyone ever told you to be ashamed of. Yes, that part. Especially that part. Especially if it has to do with your gender or sexuality or any fucking part of your body.
Celebrate your kinks.
Celebrate your failures.
Be too much.
Be too much in public.
So I saw a FB post in the wild, and I'm not posting a screenshot because, you know, someone's name is on it.
But it went:
"So when I was 15 I got my V card punched watching the Matrix and even though I'm 35 now and have been out as trans for 8 years, I'm somehow only just now realizing that there was some very heavy-handedly foreshadowing."
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
I just had to share that because it's too perfect by half.
"This is the first time I've considered deleting a piece of media here" from the DM, but other players thought it sounded great. Now to see if I still have a D&D group in a few weeks (that last is a joke)
So in therapy today we had some catch up and among the raised topics of conversation was whether my aversion to being flirted with actually has ANYTHING AT ALL to do with my demisexuality, or whether it literally just me being autistic and having never been flirted with by anyone except my wife, so I just automatically go into new-social-situation panic mode and that is the source of my discomfort
And my therapist goes "Yeah, I'd suspected that that was probably the case."