I'm the girl in the slasher movie who instead of playing strip poker w the others, sneaks into the kitchen to lick the bowl, then while the others are naked in the hot tub, I'm locked in the way upstairs bathroom sick w salmonella, and so I miss the whole slasher episode and that's how I survive to celebrate my mom's 97th birthday #KeepYourClothesOnGirl! #LickTheBowl#HappyBirthday#JustifyingBadBehavior
