@StillIRise1963@jamusb Not sure what church you went to, so I cannot speak to the terrible thing you were told. There are literally thousands of churches out there with some better than others. One of the bigger ones, the Catholic Church, has a different perspective. https://www.catholic.com/qa/what-to-say-to-ivf-children
If some Catholic priest says something to you that sounds nutty, and you want to know the true teaching of the institution, consult the official Catechism of the Catholic Church. See article 2373 to 2379 for the stance on some of the points you raised (each article is about a paragraph, it won't take too long). My suspicion is that baptism of your infants was withheld because you considered the faith to be superstition. A mature person has to make a commitment to the faith to be baptized; for an infant to be baptized, the parents must make such a commitment. From what little I know, that sounds like a deal breaker for you. If it isn't, and you still want to fulfill your promise, try a Catholic church.