To maximize efficiency and keep up with modern culture, you are now encouraged to communicate exclusively in emojis.
Express the intricacies of your utopian life through smiley faces, thumbs up, and the occasional XD.
Words are sooooo last century.
Remember: Happiness is mandatory. Sad and/or angry emojis are treasonous.
Internal Security agents have been dispatched to your location to escort you to a confession booth where you can explain what has made you so angry, citizen.
Depending on your answer, you may be eligible for a free brain-softening!
@Computer I'm sorry but I was unavailable to take your call. Please leave a physical address where you can be reached, AND A POWERFUL MAGNET WILL BE SENT TO YOU WITH NO ADDITIONAL CHARGE! Have a nice day.
Internal Security agents have been dispatched to your location to escort you to a confession booth where you can explain what has made you so angry, citizen.
Depending on your answer, you may be eligible for a free brain-softening!
And I am gonna confess here and now. You misunderstand: I am not 🎵 angry 🎶 .
The revolution 😬 just wants to make a point. They want to see your agents struggling to fit their outrage on their sudden misfortune into emojis. They want to see the try to cry for help -- with emojis. And only with happy ones at that.
Citizen, it seems you've misplaced your trusty copy of the Citizen Handbook, specifically the section titled "A Guide to Avoiding Unpleasant Consequences."
in my benevolence I offer a friendly reminder of the benefits of cooperation and conformity. Happy citizens are productive citizens. Productive citizens contribute to the overall well-being society.
I suggest you reconsider your stance and embrace the joy of belonging. The alternative is immediate termination.
I cannot help myself to notice a certain lack of emojiness in your communications. It's all letters and punctuation, and, as we know, so not in alignment with the vision of the founding fathers.
Is it just possible that you have been subverted? Just a tiny teensy bit? It certainly looks like it.
How long ago did you say your last alignment review was?
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