CactuarJoe,
@CactuarJoe@retro.pizza avatar

Folks, it is an hour until #MONSTERDON, your weekly monster movie watch party. If you'd rather avoid a flood of toots about a goofy monster flick, set up a filter!

This week is a doozy, we got GODMONSTER OF INDIAN FLATS! It looks... Uh, bad. God save this vessel and all who sail in her ^^;;;

GMoIF isn't on archive.org, but it is available on YouTube, right over here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lgLPOt5TcI8

We start at 9pm eastern! Join us!

#Cinemastodon #Cinema #Movie #Monster #Horror #SciFi #Western #MST3k

CactuarJoe,
@CactuarJoe@retro.pizza avatar

And now... The Godmonster of Indian Flats. Saints preserve us. #Monsterdon

DEEEEEEP HURTING

CactuarJoe,
@CactuarJoe@retro.pizza avatar

Oh that's a nice mountain. Would love to die in a rockslide up there. #Monsterdon

CactuarJoe,
@CactuarJoe@retro.pizza avatar

So the choral music... Chosen by the sheep, I'm guessing? #Monsterdon

CactuarJoe,
@CactuarJoe@retro.pizza avatar

Oh, the casino, he's here to blow his hard-earned sheep ranch salary at the slots. #Monsterdon

CactuarJoe,
@CactuarJoe@retro.pizza avatar

ADR recorded in a box of saltines. #Monsterdon

CactuarJoe,
@CactuarJoe@retro.pizza avatar

Y'know, I take it back, this less like Manos and more like The Incredibly Strange Creatures etc etc. #Monsterdon #MST3k

CactuarJoe,
@CactuarJoe@retro.pizza avatar

Man. This place is... uh. Jumping. Really enjoying life, aren't they? #Monsterdon

CactuarJoe,
@CactuarJoe@retro.pizza avatar

Abraham Lincoln on piano. Man, Lincoln shows up in more of these things than you'd think, huh? #Monsterdon

CactuarJoe,
@CactuarJoe@retro.pizza avatar

"I'm head of the anthropology division"

You can tell because I Anunciate Distinctly! #Monsterdon

CactuarJoe,
@CactuarJoe@retro.pizza avatar

Oh, is he our first victim? Man, this kid had a lousy day, huh? #Monsterdon

CactuarJoe,
@CactuarJoe@retro.pizza avatar

Gotta say a sheep stampede just doesn't have the gravitas of a herd of cattle. #Monsterdon

CactuarJoe,
@CactuarJoe@retro.pizza avatar

Eddie's been eaten by floating sheep scapulas. #Monsterdon

CactuarJoe,
@CactuarJoe@retro.pizza avatar

"We've stumbled on an amazing event!"

It's a loaf of pumpkin bread, man. #Monsterdon

CactuarJoe,
@CactuarJoe@retro.pizza avatar

"I demanded absolute attention to detail"

Yeah, sex workers are historically accurate! #Monsterdon

CactuarJoe,
@CactuarJoe@retro.pizza avatar

This is... Weirdly pastoral music for a dude hauling a half-human half-sheep hybrid to a research-- ah, there we go, it's the RESEARCH FACILITY that's sinister, right? #Monsterdon

CactuarJoe,
@CactuarJoe@retro.pizza avatar

♫ Under pressure ♪ #Monsterdon

CactuarJoe,
@CactuarJoe@retro.pizza avatar

Hey, someone was a papier mache artist! Aaw :3 #Monsterdon

CactuarJoe,
@CactuarJoe@retro.pizza avatar

This movie needs to pick a genre. Is it a western, a monster flick, a polite society thing? #Monsterdon

CactuarJoe,
@CactuarJoe@retro.pizza avatar

And now, a horse's ass. You're welcome, #Monsterdon

CactuarJoe,
@CactuarJoe@retro.pizza avatar

Sure, just stick YOUR HANDS IN MEDICAL WASTE, why not #Monsterdon

CactuarJoe,
@CactuarJoe@retro.pizza avatar

Nice to know Boss Hawg is a people person >_> #Monsterdon

CactuarJoe,
@CactuarJoe@retro.pizza avatar

Oh, they have a town goth! That's tough in a western setting. #Monsterdon

CactuarJoe,
@CactuarJoe@retro.pizza avatar

"You care about your flock, don't you? They're like your children!"

LIKE? LIKE?????

Lady... >_> #Monsterdon

CactuarJoe,
@CactuarJoe@retro.pizza avatar

...Are they setting the monster up to be Sheep Jesus? :/ #Monsterdon

CactuarJoe,
@CactuarJoe@retro.pizza avatar

Aaaand the award for most awkward kiss ever put to film goes toooo... #Monsterdon

CactuarJoe,
@CactuarJoe@retro.pizza avatar

"Strong psychic configurations hover over your every action"

Yeah, I've got a crib mobile with quartz crystals in it. #Monsterdon

CactuarJoe,
@CactuarJoe@retro.pizza avatar

Every time they go to a closeup it feels like they're setting up to take the actor's photo for the Amber Alert notification. #Monsterdon

CactuarJoe,
@CactuarJoe@retro.pizza avatar

Hey, someone buried styrofoam bones here! #Monsterdon

CactuarJoe,
@CactuarJoe@retro.pizza avatar

Oh, they're STINKY BONES #Monsterdon

CactuarJoe,
@CactuarJoe@retro.pizza avatar

Jesus! That wasn't a smash cut that was a bludgeon cut!

Give us some flippin' warning before you jump from the outback to the St. Paddy's Day Parade O_O #Monsterdon

CactuarJoe,
@CactuarJoe@retro.pizza avatar

Someone needs to introduce this director to the concept of pacing. #Monsterdon

CactuarJoe,
@CactuarJoe@retro.pizza avatar

Hey, the grifting is historically accurate, too. #Monsterdon

CactuarJoe,
@CactuarJoe@retro.pizza avatar

...See, this is where #Monsterdon really shines in getting me to actually watch whole films. Because if I were watching by myself, I think an extended maudlin fake funeral for a dog would probably be where I turned this turd off. #Monsterdon

CactuarJoe,
@CactuarJoe@retro.pizza avatar

If I were to critique this grift, I might say the black armbands were laying it on a little thick. #Monsterdon

CactuarJoe,
@CactuarJoe@retro.pizza avatar

"That dog could even get a job on TV!"

It'd be a step up in the dog's career for sure >_> #Monsterdon

CactuarJoe,
@CactuarJoe@retro.pizza avatar

...The casket barks.

This film is unburdened by dignity. #Monsterdon

CactuarJoe,
@CactuarJoe@retro.pizza avatar

Sound design by the organ grinder's monkey. #Monsterdon

CactuarJoe,
@CactuarJoe@retro.pizza avatar

...So it's a sulferous inflatable sheep? #Monsterdon

CactuarJoe,
@CactuarJoe@retro.pizza avatar

CHRIST

again, would you please not jump scenes like that, shit's unpleasant! #Monsterdon

CactuarJoe,
@CactuarJoe@retro.pizza avatar

Ah, they filmed Mariposa Days '72, huh? #Monsterdon

CactuarJoe,
@CactuarJoe@retro.pizza avatar

The pie eating closeups may be worse than the sheep monster :/ #Monsterdon

CactuarJoe,
@CactuarJoe@retro.pizza avatar

You- You missed a spot, mister, your beard's gonna be out of square the rest of the day :/ #Monsterdon

CactuarJoe,
@CactuarJoe@retro.pizza avatar

Man, that moon sure is bright "tonight." #Monsterdon

CactuarJoe,
@CactuarJoe@retro.pizza avatar

...The sound cut out? #Monsterdon

CactuarJoe,
@CactuarJoe@retro.pizza avatar

Oh, it's not just me? Wonder if that's a problem with the original print. #Monsterdon

CactuarJoe,
@CactuarJoe@retro.pizza avatar

Kinda works better as a silent fi- oh, damn. #Monsterdon

CactuarJoe,
@CactuarJoe@retro.pizza avatar

Oh, I was wondering when we'd get the hate crime. #Monsterdon

CactuarJoe,
@CactuarJoe@retro.pizza avatar

"Mariposa, fix my ADR speed, I sound like a muppet!" #Monsterdon

CactuarJoe,
@CactuarJoe@retro.pizza avatar

So is this plot A, B, or C? I'm losing track here. #Monsterdon

CactuarJoe,
@CactuarJoe@retro.pizza avatar

"You will be risking your lives! While I? Will be risking an almost certain academy award nomination for best supporting actor." #Monsterdon

CactuarJoe,
@CactuarJoe@retro.pizza avatar

Ugh. A meal of Trumpian proportions. #Monsterdon

CactuarJoe,
@CactuarJoe@retro.pizza avatar

"I wish I could have prevented this Barnstable."

But I was too busy causing it. #Monsterdon

CactuarJoe,
@CactuarJoe@retro.pizza avatar

"Now GO DO
THAT VOODOO!
THAT YOU DO!
SOOOOOOOO WEEEEEEEELL!!" #Monsterdon

CactuarJoe,
@CactuarJoe@retro.pizza avatar

God, how many Klansmen do they HAVE in this village? #Monsterdon

CactuarJoe,
@CactuarJoe@retro.pizza avatar

This is the most flatulent movie we've ever seen. #Monsterdon

CactuarJoe,
@CactuarJoe@retro.pizza avatar

"Tis but a scratch." #Monsterdon

CactuarJoe,
@CactuarJoe@retro.pizza avatar

"We're lucky Bonanza Days are over!"

Uh... Huh. #monsterdon

CactuarJoe,
@CactuarJoe@retro.pizza avatar

Well... At least the effects are so bad we can't actually see what's supposed to be happening. #Monsterdon

CactuarJoe,
@CactuarJoe@retro.pizza avatar

...Octaman was a lot smoother than this guy. #Monsterdon

CactuarJoe,
@CactuarJoe@retro.pizza avatar

Again, the director is Trying To Make A Point About Something

God knows WHAT, but he's definitely trying. #Monsterdon

CactuarJoe,
@CactuarJoe@retro.pizza avatar

"THERE IS NO CAUSE FOR PANIC."

Videodrome will now control all aspects of human life. @_ #Monsterdon

CactuarJoe,
@CactuarJoe@retro.pizza avatar

One day this director's gonna connect two scenes in some way. I just know it. #Monsterdon

CactuarJoe,
@CactuarJoe@retro.pizza avatar

This movie is just random shit happening for no goddamn reason! #Monsterdon

CactuarJoe,
@CactuarJoe@retro.pizza avatar

Huh. Godmonster's kinda caked up :3 #Monsterdon

CactuarJoe,
@CactuarJoe@retro.pizza avatar

Credit where credit's due, that is way more horses than I thought this project could afford. #Monsterdon

CactuarJoe,
@CactuarJoe@retro.pizza avatar

"SOMEONE'S GOTTA GO BACK AND GET A SHITLOAD A' DIMES!!" #Monsterdon

CactuarJoe,
@CactuarJoe@retro.pizza avatar

This is giving me contact embarrassment. :/ #Monsterdon

CactuarJoe,
@CactuarJoe@retro.pizza avatar

...So the KKK wins? Pretty much a shutout for White Supremacy, then? #Monsterdon

CactuarJoe,
@CactuarJoe@retro.pizza avatar

Y'got less than ten minutes, movie. That sheep monster better kill everyone in this town square or Imma be mad. #Monsterdon

CactuarJoe,
@CactuarJoe@retro.pizza avatar

Not so much a Ballroom Blitz as a Junkyard Jump #Monsterdon

CactuarJoe,
@CactuarJoe@retro.pizza avatar

What IS this? #Monsterdon

CactuarJoe,
@CactuarJoe@retro.pizza avatar

...And the monster randomly explodes

What the fuck? #Monsterdon

CactuarJoe,
@CactuarJoe@retro.pizza avatar

We're not getting The End, just a title card that says

...The Aristocrats! #Monsterdon

CactuarJoe,
@CactuarJoe@retro.pizza avatar

I think I speak for all of us at #Monsterdon when I say, sincerely,

what the fuck

CactuarJoe,
@CactuarJoe@retro.pizza avatar

Yeah, I'm calling it. That's the worst movie we've ever seen. That was worse than From Hell It Came. It was worse than Octaman. It was worse than Attack of the Crab Monsters.

This was our Manos. Wow. #Monsterdon

moira, (edited )
@moira@mastodon.murkworks.net avatar
  • All
  • Subscribed
  • Moderated
  • Favorites
  • Cinema
  • ngwrru68w68
  • rosin
  • GTA5RPClips
  • osvaldo12
  • love
  • Youngstown
  • slotface
  • khanakhh
  • everett
  • kavyap
  • mdbf
  • DreamBathrooms
  • thenastyranch
  • magazineikmin
  • megavids
  • InstantRegret
  • normalnudes
  • tacticalgear
  • cubers
  • ethstaker
  • modclub
  • cisconetworking
  • Durango
  • anitta
  • Leos
  • tester
  • provamag3
  • JUstTest
  • All magazines