fraying,
@fraying@xoxo.zone avatar

One of my least favorite reply guys on social media is the “you’re just noticing this NOW?!” guy.

Yeah, man! We notice things when we notice them. If you agree, welcome me to the fucking club.

Are you the punch-clock of timely awareness or a builder of solidarity? You want a prize for noticing it first, or do you want to actually change it?

Pointing out that someone is late to the party is not what good hosts do, and just makes people less likely to try and help in the future.

teleclimber,
@teleclimber@social.tchncs.de avatar

@fraying There is an xkcd about this (or pretty close):

https://xkcd.com/1053/

fraying,
@fraying@xoxo.zone avatar

@teleclimber YES! That’s it exactly.

jwz,
@jwz@mastodon.social avatar

@fraying That Guy is an immediate block. Also the "Why Are You Surprised Guy" and anyone who ever uses the word "Meh" ("my disinterest is so interesting that I am going to tell you about it")

fraying,
@fraying@xoxo.zone avatar

@jwz Excellent rules.

wendypalmer,
@wendypalmer@mastodon.au avatar

@fraying @jwz oh god the Meh guy 🤦‍♀️

fraying,
@fraying@xoxo.zone avatar

@wendypalmer @jwz I reserve the “meh” ability for one case: when I make a simple post and someone responds with an off topic tirade. Then a well-placed “meh” reply can work wonders.

andrewfeeney,
@andrewfeeney@phpc.social avatar

@fraying This behaviour is also a strong predictor of divorce in marriages according to Gottman. Gottman classifies it as a kind of contempt.

“Oh NOW after ten years you’ve finally started doing more housework! 🙄”

jonny,
@jonny@neuromatch.social avatar

@fraying it is so much easier to just say a) nothing or b) 'ikr, isn't it cool/bad/whatever'

NBAnthony2k,
@NBAnthony2k@mastodo.neoliber.al avatar

@fraying you're just now noticing this guy? I've noticed this guy a long time ago

fraying,
@fraying@xoxo.zone avatar

@NBAnthony2k doing a thing ironically is still doing that thing

zorrobandito,
@zorrobandito@aus.social avatar

@fraying I have friends IRL who behave like this. They just can't take any joy in your joy and have to be too cool for school all the time.

Fortunately they have other excellent qualities.

fraying,
@fraying@xoxo.zone avatar

@zorrobandito sounds exhausting.

sysop408,
@sysop408@sfba.social avatar

@fraying my usual response to that is, “actually, I realized this in 1996. It’s just taken me this long to stop procrastinating and write about it.”

fraying,
@fraying@xoxo.zone avatar

@sysop408 yeah that too! Posting isn’t realizing. Usually.

fraying,
@fraying@xoxo.zone avatar

And I know it can be frustrating when someone says something obvious like it’s a new discovery. But what’s obvious to you isn’t obvious to everyone, and we’re all on our own separate learning curves, doing the best we can. By all means, murmur to yourself about how they should’ve known it sooner, but don’t do that to them unless you’re trying to be an asshole.

fraying,
@fraying@xoxo.zone avatar

(This stream of thought was not caused by any of my recent interactions. My followers are much smarter than that. Just an observation from years of watching it play out here and elsewhere, and the damaging impact it’s had on my own desire to post ideas sometimes.)

floating,
@floating@babka.social avatar

@fraying I keep discovering the same things over and over, so far be it from me to pooh-pooh anyone else's discoveries.

fraying,
@fraying@xoxo.zone avatar

@floating Right?! Same.

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