I realize this may seem obvious but from what I’ve seen on lives, some people have difficulty with this, and I’m trying not to be a jerk about it, so:
It’s okay to be sad that two artists whom you are used to collaborating together, stopped. It’s okay to have an emotional reaction when your faves break up.
From idols groups, to acting ships, to a world famous dancing duo who were openly a couple, quietly breaking up, personally and professionally.
@glitchontwitch No idea what fandom this is for but have certain been through this in fandoms in the past. Hope whichever ones you are in find calm soon.
It was inspired by what’s been going on currently with Net & James, as James has left acting. Some NetJames fans have decided to react to the news by coming into Net’s insta lives and basically tell him to get James back.
But really, it’s for any fandom. Like, on the off chance that someone just needs to be told in order to understand why it’s not a good idea to do stuff like that.
Especially with another pair possibly working on their last show together.
@glitchontwitch Yep. This is something that will forever cycle in fandoms. There will always be new and/or young fans who need to be taught how to respectfully consume material and what is ok to approach creators with.
However, going into these people’s spaces— their socials, their lives — any context in which you can communicate with them, and venting those emotions is not okay.
We do not see the full picture, but odds are they are dealing with their own feelings about what happened. Decisions like that are rarely easy.
Find a fandom space to process your emotions, bc the artists are doing their own processing.
It’s not helpful to them—or you— to process your stuff at them.
@glitchontwitch I can imagine how bad this is just from what I see in comments on series pages, where fans of an actor or ship can get so caught up in their own desires they don't even bother to see the series as a whole, with its own message and story. More disconcerting is how they don't even see the skill and talent of the actor they're supposedly adoring.
It's like the selfie-era has to put itself into everything instead of appreciating the thing or person for what it is/they are.
@emmaaum people will take what they want out of a series, and that won’t always be the same thing.
However, yeah: when it reaches a point where people forget that underneath it all is a whole human being with their own emotions and experiences, and don’t exist just to play out their desires, it gets not fun.
For example: Fan reaction to NetJames’s “break up” (James left acting entirely) has included a lot of whining/complaining to Net about it during his insta livestreams.
@emmaaum that’s not what I was saying? Nor do I think you need to withdraw anything, even if it was.
Though there are parts I don’t fully understand, and possible aspects I don’t agree with.
I did want to give you an example, as a literal response to the imagine bit, to see if it aligned with expectation.
The extra bit was about personal experience. I’ve been part of couples that were treated as social anchors, and dealt with the dehumanizing fallout of breaking up in that situation.
@glitchontwitch I was just trying to have a conversation, adding in something I've come across and tieing both yours and my examples into a broader trend.
Your first paragraph + the next starting with "However" reads as dismissive of my example. I don't know enough about yours to carry on a conversation about that specifically so it made sense to withdraw from it.
Sorry, I should have just said "Yeah, that sounds really bad" and left it at that. Sorry.
@emmaaum i don’t know the full picture of your experience, so i can’t say what you should or shouldn’t have done. FWIW, I prefer you genuinely engaging, and us working things out in moments like these.
Thank you for explaining where you are coming from. I see now how it was dismissive, and I’m sorry.
I didn’t have a full sense of what you meant, and i was nervous about pulling the thread bc I’ve made you feel alienated before. Instead i alienated you with a truism. That’s on me. Sorry.
@glitchontwitch i wrote something longer to explain my thoughts better. am going to let it sit and come back to it again to make sure it's hopefully good enough before i send it to you.
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