@SleepyCatten So, we really really really don't like tankies and tried to install kbin but were unsuccesfful on the multiple attempts.
We ended up installing Lemmy as the alternative with the hope of providing our community members and friends atleast some protection from toxicity within the tankie side of the fediverse: https://dataterm.digital/post/3
Current options for both are slim to none because both are software in their alpha stages. There's no doubt that someone's probably out there working on something right now. Lemmy has a couple of app options but they're very early stage too.
I feel sad that you lost all of that in Reddit. I never found anywhere safe on that site tbh, even marginalised communities would have a few mean intentioned people slip through the cracks (of course they'd get kicked though).
Because it's so early, the best you can do is create these spaces and find some trusted people who will help you maintain these things. I will be very honest, moderation tools are much much more barebones than any other platform I've been on.
I can try to help you find some spaces that already exist, I know Blåhaj.zone have their own instance and they're pretty safe if you want somewhere to start. I noticed in the mod logs the admin is very active. not sure about migration but baby steps, give it your best. 1/