The fact that you’re asking other people about this while being so concerned about all the red flags, is itself a red flag.
Think about it this way: If I wanted you to invest in some company, but I prefaced it with a long list of reasons why the company was really risky and not a wise choice to invest in, would you still invest your life savings into it?
I’ve known several people, men and women who dated somebody similar to your description, a tortured soul/bad boy or girl that was trying to get better. Do you know how many of them it worked out for? Zero, a zero percent success rate. Worse yet, all of them were hurt in the end by that person. It caused trauma, heartache, and in some cases, straight up abuse.
You shouldn’t get into a relationship with somebody who’s not fully healed. It is absolutely possible for people to heal from severe trauma and life circumstances, I’ve seen it happen. But until that happens, you shouldn’t get into a relationship with them. It’s a bad idea for both parties.
If they get therapy, work on themselves, become established, fix their issues, heal their wounds, and are like that for years consistently, then you can think about dating them. If they are truly on the right path, they will be completely fine with it working out or not at that time down the road.
If they aren’t alright with that, then it is a confirmation that they aren’t actually healed because they aren’t healthy enough to accept that happening. A mature and well-adjusted person is patient enough to wait, and mature enough to accept that different people’s lives sometimes go in different directions.
TL;DR Don’t do it. You almost certainly will end up hurt, worse off, and possibly even abused. You might also ruin their healing process unintentionally too.