One reason why it took me so long to self-diagnose autism is that I thought I don't stim. In fact, once I learned that I do stim, my self-diagnosis process kicked in. That was the first time I said to myself that I might actually be autistic.
The reason for this misunderstanding was that I thought stimming is stereotypical, very repetitive, compulsory movement. I guess this misunderstanding is quite common.
I've since learned that stimming, short for self-stimulatory behavior, is basically stimulating one's sensory system in certain ways. It may be a way to soothe oneself, help to focus in overwhelming situations by feeding one's brain predictable sensory input, a way to express joy, or simply something that feels nice. Movements are part of it but any sense can be used.
When googling the term, there are mentions that also neurotypicals stim but that when diagnosing autism, stimming is somehow different -- only socially unacceptable stims are "real" stims. Bah.
I've started paying attention to how and when I stim, and collect a list of stims I do. I've noticed all types of stimming behavior (soothing, focusing, joy, fun). I do it more than before -- or maybe I just notice it more often. I've noticed that I love moving my body parts, especially to music. I also love different textures.
Chair rocking and leg wiggling were one of the earliest I remember. Not that anyone would've thought to diagnose me then. Staring out the window and caricaturing teachers was not enough then.
I got really good at invisible stims. Using music, leaning against things, pressing my nails into my skin.
It would take years until I thought of any of these as stims 😹
@kalikiana@LehtoriTuomo@actuallyautistic
What I call, hidden stims. It took me ages to work out half the things I do on the quiet and in ways that meant that they weren't obvious, even to me.
@kalikiana@LehtoriTuomo@actuallyautistic
When I first started to realise I was autistic, I didn't actually think I stimmed at all. Until I started to realise how much of what I do, fidgeting, doodling, constantly moving my toes in my shoes, finger flickers and so many other things, were all stims. That I, in fact, pretty much stim like a bunny on meth all the time. 😂
When I first took quizzes at 63 I was convinced I didn't stim. I dislike the word because of it's negative connotations.
I realized that I've bitten my fingernails since I was a child. Nothing would stop it. I still do it, often the skin around the nails. I run my teeth under the few I keep.
As I've gotten older I've started picking my ear hairs with tweezers.
When I retired I didn't need to shave every day. I pull whiskers as soon as the hairs get long.
Same, honestly (though in my 40s). I don't stim at all!
... I just bite my nails, tap my fingers together, wiggle my knee, move my toes in my shoes, hum under my breath, play with my hair, wiggle in my seat, repeat words with some variation (like be-bow-boo ... or even less senseful), and ... and ... and ... >.>
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