Autistic brains be stupid. Well, obviously not stupid, they just seem to work, or not work, in mysterious ways.
The main one that has always got me, about mine, is that I have no memory for sound, absolutely none. I can't remember a song, or a sound. I can't remember what my parents sounded like and none of my memories carry, for want of a better word, a soundtrack. I can remember what I was thinking and what others were saying, but not hearing them say it, nor any other sound. I also don't dream in sound, at least as far as I know. All my dreams are silent.
And yet, and it's a big yet. I have an excellent memory for voices and sounds. Like many autistics I have near perfect pitch, at least when I'm hearing others sing, or music playing. Just don't ask me to reproduce it, because I can't. If I meet someone I haven't met for a while, then I will almost certainly not recognise their face, or remember their name, but there is a very good chance that I will recognise them from their voice. I am also very good at detecting accents. Even the slightest hint of one in, say, an actor pretending to be an american, will get me searching Wikipedian to see if I am right about their actual nationality.
So, if I can tell the sound of a Honda CBR engine two blocks away, or a voice, or an accent buried deep, I must have the memories to compare against. And yet... nope.
To put what you're saying in a couple of labeled boxes to clarify what I mean:
What I'm reading is that your brain has a strong recognition or association memory, which are categories of implicit memory, but your brain is not strong on episodic memory, which is a category of explicit memory. You also seem to have a brain that associates stronger on auditory stimuli than on other senses, at least when using your implicit memory.
I'm not read up on whether there's an association between this combination of memory function with autism, or if it's just that one axis of being you is your autism and another axis is how your memory works. I'm hoping others here are read up on this! Fascinating topic.
I would love to see others who know their research better clarify this, whether an emphasis on implicit memory is a common trait among autistic people or not, and whether strong focus on memory for a particular sense is.
@clacke@pathfinder@actuallyautistic
perhaps familiar with it. I just learned this year soooo much, what has it taught me,
the more I learn the less I know .
QI’ve done metacog work since small. Metacognition is basically teaching yourself how to think. Think of them as altralight inference as why things happen they way they do. Most embodied systems l learn watching others or experience.
So when I learned about autism it was like 😮 this is why after dx it expanded my worldview, it’s so vast it can cause paradigm shifts by some . It’s a tough time.
If you have specific questions just lmk im happy to share any experiences :)
@clacke@pathfinder@actuallyautistic
Plus when you look at the health problems you can get as you get older sux. It makes it harder to function in society basically. All the wears upon you then you add generational a trauma it’s a lot for many of us to navigate without assistance. We obviously think differently. Extreme hyperphantasia in adults hyper phantasia, more vivid recall. Cited by nih I can get the paper :)
@pathfinder To put what what you're saying in a couple of labeled boxes:
I think what you're saying is that your brain has a strong recognition or association memory, which are categories of implicit memory, but your brain is not strong on episodic memory, which is a category of explicit memory. You also seem to have a brain that associates stronger on auditory stimuli than on other senses.
I'm not read up on whether there's an association between this combination of memory function with autism, or if it's just that one axis of being you is your autism (which you seem to be implying, apologies if I read it wrong) and another axis is how your memory works.
So, i am / was a musician. As a teen (late 80s) i was REALLY into Metallica. One thing i would do to entertain myself while riding the bus is to listen to one of the tracks in my head and individually isolate instruments. I remember being able to listen to just the drum track, and then do things like get rid of the high-hat or toms.
Admittedly, I'd listened to those songs HUNDREDS of times.
@alexpsmith@pathfinder@actuallyautistic i don't know that I can call what I have an eidetic memory, but of the things I can recall, music and lyrics are among the few things I can recall with striking clarity.
I've learned from a friend of a different flavor of neurodivergence in which eidetic memory is tied closely to emotion, and in this way i can connect the dots between how music is a special interest and outlet for complex feels… and how music can resonate with me in a way that sticks...
@alexpsmith@pathfinder@actuallyautistic I remember thinking when i was getting diagnostic testing for autism, we got to the short term memory test and i did so terribly, as i often do trying to remember stuff...
but i also remember thinking if she would've sang the things she was testing me on i'd probably have nailed it
I wish I had a little bit less pervasive sound memory. It stands me in good stead with other humans, though, bc I am bad with faces and names, so once someone talks, I know if I know them.
Sounds, voices, accents, they all come with strong physical sensation and thus, strong memory. Sounds get stuck in my head, sometimes on repeat. I have to change my alarm tone frequently because even if I choose a seemingly pleasant one, it will end up stuck on a loop in my head. Sometimes I can sit down and reproduce it on the piano. But I don't think I have perfect pitch, despite having been a musician my entire life.
@arisummerland@actuallyautistic
Definitely. Although, the word you might have been looking for is frustrating. I obviously have the memories, just no way to recall them, even in dreams.
@pathfinder@actuallyautistic Yes, frustrating as well. I'm aphantasic, but I still dream. I haven't considered whether I can hear things in my dreams or not, though.
@pathfinder@arisummerland@actuallyautistic I have a suggestion on how to remember, based on similar experience: by recalling the reaction you had during the dream as an observer to its content.
I recently confirmed to myself my dream visuals are much higher fidelity than my waking visualization this way. That's because during a dream I had a strong reaction to how visually beautiful an island was, though when I woke my visual memory of the island was too foggy to have caused that reaction.
@pathfinder@arisummerland@actuallyautistic Occasionally I've been able to prompt dream topics by deliberately fixating on them before sleep. I wonder if you could prompt a dream of attending a concert or something similar, then try to remember your dreaming reaction.
Would be very curious to hear what you might learn.
@arisummerland@pathfinder@actuallyautistic I always have a concert going on in my head. It’s not always what people would consider music but I generally enjoy it.sometimes I want it to go away and it won’t but I mostly exist peacefully with the sounds in my head.
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