chad

the_etrain, 5 days ago to random

What is it about someone with a salesman's personality that makes me want to slap the crap out of them?

chad, 10 days ago to random

The stupidest part of having a YouTube channel is knowing that your videos would be way more popular if you decided to suck as a person.

chad, 12 days ago to random

Post every post like it’s your last

chad, 13 days ago to random

If I had a good recliner I’d probably list that as a hobby.

chad, 14 days ago to random

Anybody got an ethical, easy, extremely well-paying job they want me to have?

StefanThinks, 15 days ago to random

Rookie EMT: Sir, you were in a horrific wreck, and we just pulled you from your car. Are you able to respond?

Me: The playlist, it isn't mine; it's my four-year-old son’s. I just had it on. [Coughs up blood, dies.]

Veteran EMT: Poor bastard’s going to hell for using his last breath to tell a lie.

chad, 17 days ago to random

Me when I read a post from jorts dot horse

chad, 17 days ago to random

The Picard meme we deserve
https://botsin.space/@GoodFaces/112510344740173292

Alice, 18 days ago to random

I pulled myself up by my bootstraps that I bought with daddy's money.

chad, 18 days ago to random

Corporate Accounts Payable, this is Nina speaking. Just a moment.

chad, 18 days ago to random

So there’s a tree named Joshua?

chad, 20 days ago to random

Morning standup time!

Yesterday, I finished the cheesecake.
Today, I’ll finish the donuts.

No blockers.

chad, 22 days ago to random

If you have déjà vu but you don’t say “whoa, déjà vu” you will have that same déjà vu again until you say “whoa, déjà vu” about it.

chad, 22 days ago to random

Is there a hashtag or cw convention for when you post something that would probably be better to instead say to a therapist if you had a therapist?

chad, 24 days ago to Bloomscrolling

#bloomscrolling The neighborhood Bird has bloomed, with more to come! I really like the leaves on their own, but it’s a special treat to get the flowers out.

I propagated some of this cluster over by my house and am eagerly awaiting my first bloom-on-premises.

chad, 25 days ago to random

Cakeposting will resume as soon as I finish this pie. Thank you for your patience and understanding.

Alice, 25 days ago to random

Whenever my husband and I stay in a hotel room with two beds, I like to role play like we're two coworkers on a business trip where I get things hot by spending the evening microwaving fish.

StefanThinks, 25 days ago to random

Oh, you think it's funny to mock ADHD, the condition I have struggled with since I was born? Well, I have something to tell you! What were we just talking about?

chad, 26 days ago to random

hey siri what’s the nirvana song that goes “ah yeahhhheahhhh heyeyhh yeahh ohhhhh”

chad, 27 days ago to random

The best reason to learn to cook for yourself is so you can put miso in everything.