MonotoneofBill

MonotoneofBill, 2 days ago to random

Out of all the lies I tell, “just kidding” is still my favorite.

MonotoneofBill, 3 days ago to random

There is no “we” in chocolate.

MonotoneofBill, 5 days ago to random

In my still new-to-me Proton mail when reading newsletters, I'm getting "Image has not been loaded to protect your privacy." Anyone know to what that refers? TY.

MonotoneofBill, 5 days ago to random

I super glued my thumb to my index finger. Everything’ll be OK.

MonotoneofBill, 6 days ago to random

Moms let kids lick the beaters.

Good moms turn the mixer off first.

MonotoneofBill, 9 days ago to random

The Dyson Ball Cleaner has a very misleading name.

MonotoneofBill, 9 days ago to random

Regarding my Spanish lessons, after my throat operation, I can "Si" clearly now.

MonotoneofBill, 10 days ago to random

A pizza is basically a real-time pie chart of how much pizza remains.

MonotoneofBill, 11 days ago to random

Female pirates with sword injuries are cut lasses.

MonotoneofBill, 17 days ago to random

What symptom will you feel after swallowing Uranium?

Atomic ache.

MonotoneofBill, 20 days ago to random

Just when you think your vegetables will never call you again, onion rings.

MonotoneofBill, 20 days ago to random

Autocorrect’s originator died? I didn’t even know he was I’ll.

MonotoneofBill, 22 days ago to random

I wasn't going to let getting older slow me down. But my body had other plans.

MonotoneofBill, 23 days ago to random

Picking up a cookie that fell to the floor counts as a squat, yes?

MonotoneofBill, 23 days ago to random

Nowadays most of my exercise comes from shaking my head in disbelief.

MonotoneofBill, 25 days ago to random

Deceased astronauts get orbituaries.

MonotoneofBill, 26 days ago to random

(Self-Deprecation Society Sign-Up Sheet Instructions)

Put Yourself Down!

MonotoneofBill, 27 days ago to random

A transparent droid:

C-through-PO.

MonotoneofBill, 28 days ago to random

Good site from which to copy & paste a symbol when typing:

https://symbol.wtf/#

MonotoneofBill, 1 month ago to random

I like to learn something new every day.

Throughout his life, Alexander Graham Bell answered his phone with “Ahoy.”

MonotoneofBill, 1 month ago to random

Bart the Bullfrog has started a pondsy scheme.

MonotoneofBill, 1 month ago to random

Clown School curriculum comes from a silly bus.

MonotoneofBill, 1 month ago to random

To the folks who said I would never amount to anything due to my prodigious procrastination ... just you wait.

MonotoneofBill, 1 month ago to random

Drinking water through a straw is the opposite of snorkeling.

MonotoneofBill, 1 month ago to random

The opposite of formaldehyde is casualdejekyll.