LibertyForward1

LibertyForward1, 14 days ago

@Alice, @BobWilliams, @zymenchlora, @GayDeceiver, @HCBunny, @theropologist, @JoParkerBear, just to name a few - these are just some of the people here that have stood by me and my little family, several of whom going as far back as when I arrived during the Great Exodus of '22.

LibertyForward1, 14 days ago

Some of them were literally the only reason we had food in our bellies, or the reason we've kept a roof over our heads. Several of them unknowingly helped snap me out of a nervous breakdown and ideation. They approached me with kindness and without judgement.

I know I'm forgetting so many, many others. Sooo many. For those of you who deserve to be on this list but got lost in my bong resin-soaked memory, I humbly ask your forgiveness.

LibertyForward1, 14 days ago

I will never cease to marvel at how my life has been enriched since I joined mastodon and the #fediverse.

This is the sort of connection I've sought in vain for three decades. The respect, the validation.. It's like magic.

I guess this is my love note to you all. Thank you for being my friends.

LibertyForward1, 15 days ago

We were finally, finally starting to let our guard down a little and try to relax and focus on making future plans and getting me better employment. I just splurged an extra $10 for decent shower curtain rings a week ago to have something nice. 2/

LibertyForward1, 15 days ago

Wednesday night, we were blindsided and bullied into agreeing to consolidate from having the majority of the basement where we're living all to ourselves with a nice open area for our obese border collie (whom we're trying to slim down) to play and safe, direct access to storage for our belongings, down to one 8x8 room. 3/

LibertyForward1, 15 days ago

We have until the end of the month. Spots of the carpet in our soon-to-be room are "crunchy" because of pet accidents buried in mounds of noxious scented baking soda hardened with the carpet fibers for months into concrete, to which I'm severely allergic, but our landlady is only willing to go halfsies to rent a carpet cleaner and since we're broke my only option is trying to air the room out but she keeps closing the window. 4/

LibertyForward1, 15 days ago

All our possessions that we can't fit in this tiny room will now remain in this basement area without any security or tamper resistance, directly accessible by two complete strangers and their dog whom we have no idea whether it is trained well enough to leave our stuff alone. We'll now go from having a private bathroom to sharing with potentially four other people. 5/

LibertyForward1, 15 days ago

We will now be in almost constant direct contact with our volatile landlady with severe, undiagnosed BPD and her precocious gradeschooler child and friends with no boundaries and a penchant for stealing, her two dogs with aggression issues and a sweet foster dog who's lived the life of a pound puppy who I've bonded with but can't afford to care for the dog we have who is more bonded with my partner. 6/

LibertyForward1, 15 days ago

We sold my partner's car to her in exchange for a couple months' rent, so we now have only one vehicle. We figured this was most practical since the car is in poor condition, but that leaves my partner completely isolated.

My partner and I - both of whom struggle with BPD tendencies (I'm officially diagnosed, he isn't) - now have to be constantly vigilant not to engage with my landlady's mind games. I suppose it's karma for what everyone went through over the years with me. 7/

LibertyForward1, 15 days ago

I've been commuting to work on a spare tire for months. Last summer, an elderly woman sideswiped my car (first accident in 9.5 years) after trying to cause two other collisions seconds before. I haven't been able to open my driver door from the outside for almost a year. I don't dare roll the window down because I'm scared I won't be able to get it back up. 8/

LibertyForward1, 15 days ago

I should've remembered, but my drivers license expired earlier this month on my birthday. In my state you can get them renewed up to 90 days prior to expiration, but I was unaware. I was also unaware that they now only do this by appointment. So I have an appointment in the 31st, to renew my license if I can find my birth certificate, with our current address which isn't particularly reliable at this point. 9/

LibertyForward1, 15 days ago

I also learned that our car insurance marked our coverage as "lapsed" instead of rolling into the next eligibility period. I figured I was pushing my luck driving an 18yo car with side damage, three bald tires (nearly past the tread at this point) and a worn spare, with a technically expired license, technically expired registration, and lapsed insurance so I sank nearly every penny we had into renewing the policy.

Including money I intended to use to purchase dog food and human food. 10/

LibertyForward1, 15 days ago

I commute ~40 miles to my job, that despite barely handling it physically and mentally I don't dare leave because I pretty much only qualify for retail at this point and it's highly unlikely to be better anywhere else than the gig I have now. With the condition of my tires, I've had to drive considerably slower than the already ridiculously low speed zones of my commute. 11/

LibertyForward1, 15 days ago

I currently work around three days a week, approximately 23 hours. Between the job and the commute, I have to push myself so hard to keep up that even with such low hours I sometimes can barely move on my days off.

It costs roughly a day's net wages for me to pay for direly needed medical cannabis for my partner and me to haphazardly function (and whenever our landlady runs low because it's better to share and not deal with her antics when she's cold sober) for the week. 12/

LibertyForward1, 15 days ago

I spend approximately half of the next day's net wages on a week's worth of gas for my commute to work.

That leaves us with approximately $100 per week to cover everything else. Food, rent, bills, insurance, everything. 13/

LibertyForward1, 15 days ago

Today would have been my father's 79th birthday. My family is getting together for a graveside visit but we're stranded here two hours away because of the condition of my car, and because we need to somehow figure out how to move everything upstairs in a couple of days. I've seen them once for a couple of hours on Christmas since my father passed in September. 14/

LibertyForward1, 15 days ago

All of this makes me want to jump off a cliff, and yet I keep thinking "it could be worse, it could be worse..", so my angst is invalid.

Ultimately I'm just tired of the other shoe always dropping.

So very tired.
15/end

LibertyForward1, 15 days ago

Addendum: I should clarify that while our landlady is wildly unpredictable she's been generous and flexible. I believe she tries the best she can to help and support others which is how we got here in the first place.

However, this has reminded us that we are entirely at the mercy of others; we're already paying below-market, the new renters are willing to pay at least 50% more and be reliable in paying. It would be hard to argue against moving upstairs since it's still better than the curb.

LibertyForward1, 24 days ago

@the_etrain Then don't read my bio! :blobcat_tonguewink: