@Ilovechai@sciences.social

Ilovechai

@Ilovechai@sciences.social

Sipping my chai, keeping cozy and just here to check out what the Fediverse has to offer.

This profile is from a federated server and may be incomplete. Browse more on the original instance.

AnAutieAtUni, to actuallyadhd
@AnAutieAtUni@beige.party avatar

“If I’m not stressed about it, I will forget it.”

Just caught myself realising this is true for me. Is this an ADHD type thing? Maybe a coping strategy? If you can call making yourself stressed “coping”!! 🤪

I have an online call shortly, and I’m annoyed with myself for not being more stressed about it to make sure I’m preparing and on time for it.

Now my uni work is done, a lot of background stress has dropped away, and these things are becoming clearer.

ADHD assessment later this month! But still not sure if I’d meet the criteria.

@actuallyadhd

Ilovechai,

@AnAutieAtUni @actuallyadhd sounds like it could be adhd related, as tho your life experiences have created almost a trauma response to the idea of forgetting something important. Possibly you've had multiple experiences forgetting & either were punished, in trouble or felt regretful. The stress & focus of worrying has become the way to force memory & control attention. Sounds really tiring. I hope the assessment helps you find support & perhaps meds can reduce all this stressing labor. 🥹

Ilovechai, to ADHD

Goodbye headache
Happy sigh
@adhd
https://music.youtube.com/watch?v=jvM9AfAzoSo&si=YqZwQBYGK1W49bYf

Ilovechai, to music

When the lyrics give you an appreciation for a genre outside your usual vibe.
@autisticadvocacy
Competing and comparison is a no for me though
My growth is not replicable or copy-friendly
I'm powerful beyond measure
The version of me others created in their mind
Is not my responsibility
I normalize saying no when others want too much from me
I uproot any soul ties of attachment that has held me hostage

https://music.youtube.com/watch?v=hapxCXuCDeY&si=BWQNaJVFgP1zWdKu

Ilovechai,

@autisticadvocacy pick up the pace
👟🏃‍♀️🔥
https://music.youtube.com/watch?v=cSpnJjM1H24&si=mYgFF8nQYuaMqlaB

Ilovechai, to socialwork

Love this episode!!!
@socialwork
#neuroception #therapistsconnect #socialwork #socialcrisis #trauma #goodtrouble #systemicchange

https://pca.st/episode/b5a6fdc1-f459-4a18-99f5-bbc49909b3b0

Ilovechai, to actuallyaudhd

I don't have the spoons to explain why I feel my neurodivergence is making this worse, but I need feedback or insight from other ND people on a unique experience. This will be a long thread (added in replies) but I'm hopeful there will be a few kind readers who either relate or have something supportive to share.
Here goes:
1/
@actuallyautistic @actuallyaudhd


Ilovechai,

@actuallyautistic @actuallyaudhd

Not sure how to describe it, but I'm feeling frustrated that despite the fact that my faith deconstruction began in 2015, and I officially left the religion in 2016; I still miss the closeness and belonging I once had. I'm Hella triggered by organized retreats or post religion gatherings... it seems to have the same flavor as church.. I get that people are wanting connection. Obviously so do I..
2/

Ilovechai,

@actuallyautistic @actuallyaudhd

but so far, online spaces seem to feel the safest. I think being in a high demand religion with insta-friends masked some of my limits in socializing or maintaining friendships. Literally 4 to 5 in person 'friend groups' I attempted to engage in over the post faith years, all imploded 1-2 yrs later. I'm starting to fear I'll never have connections that survive beyond that now
3/

Ilovechai,

@actuallyautistic @actuallyaudhd

(despite having 15-20 yr friendships before leaving.)
When you lose your entire support system, and you see red flags of manipulation or non-reciprocation miles away.... somedays it feels like I just have to accept that freedom of mind has to be enough, cuz trusting relationships was the price...
4/

Ilovechai,

@actuallyautistic @actuallyaudhd

but here I am, trying to have spaces to find connection and ASD or post religion spaces seems to be the safest 🤔 (every time I decide to leave exreligious spaces from deconstruction topic burnout, I find my way back because its the place I find like minded people) I guess I'm just here to vent about how f*cking terribly cruel shunning is.
5/

Ilovechai,

@actuallyautistic @actuallyaudhd

🤨 And how utterly burnt out I feel trying to rebuild a support system. Thanks to anyone who shared their energy to read this. 🥹🙏🏻

5/end

Ilovechai,

@actuallyautistic @actuallyaudhd

Thanks again for all those who have been so considerate and responded to this thread. It makes me curious if there's a discord space where you hang out? Those who offered DMs ...I'd be open to it, and it's also more comfortable for me to respond than initiate, or to chat in a more private space regularly before doing one-on-one (at least for me). So, if such a server exists, do share (either in DM or comments) 😉🙏🏻

Ilovechai,

@filmfreak75 @actuallyautistic @actuallyaudhd
🤩🥰 ty 🙏🏻

Ilovechai,

@arisummerland @actuallyautistic @actuallyaudhd 🙏🏻🥰 ty

Ilovechai,

@JoBlakely @actuallyautistic @actuallyaudhd
I'm glad you're finding benefit and connections that way ✨️🙏🏻I'll be curious about this idea.

Ilovechai,

@seanwithwords @actuallyautistic @actuallyaudhd

That's a healthy approach. One step at a time.

Ilovechai,

@janisf @actuallyautistic @actuallyaudhd

🤩👏🏻🌈💓

Ilovechai,

@Zeronior @actuallyaudhd @actuallyautistic

😎🏍👏🏻🤩 that's awesome

Ilovechai,

@arisummerland @actuallyautistic @actuallyaudhd
Thx. I looked and funnily enough I joined it in April, but didn't remember till check. I guess I'll try doing more than reacting to posts. 🫢

Ilovechai, to Bloomscrolling

Ilovechai, to actuallyautistic

Singing helps regulate my nervous system.
#happysaturday #goodvibes
#stim #actuallyautistic
#karaoke #ballads #singing #fedimusic #karaokenight
#specialinterest #actuallyautistic @actuallyautistic @autisticadvocacy

Ilovechai,

@actuallyautistic @autisticadvocacy
Late Friday night shenanigans
Singing helps regulate my nervous system.



@actuallyautistic @autisticadvocacy

Ilovechai,

@actuallyautistic @autisticadvocacy
Singing helps regulate my nervous system.
#happyfriday #goodvibes
#stim #actuallyautistic
#karaoke #ballads #singing #fedimusic #karaokenight
#specialinterest #actuallyautistic @actuallyautistic @autisticadvocacy

Ilovechai,

Singing helps regulate my nervous system.
#happyfriday #goodvibes
#stim #actuallyautistic
#karaoke #ballads #singing #fedimusic #karaokenight #lullaby
#specialinterest #actuallyautistic @actuallyautistic @autisticadvocacy

f1337, to actuallyautistic
@f1337@hachyderm.io avatar

🤔 Is pathological demand avoidance a form, or derivative, of the freeze response to trauma?

@actuallyautistic

Ilovechai,

@f1337 @actuallyautistic

100%
"PDA is characterized by a heightened fight/flight/freeze response to demands, leading individuals to actively avoid or resist requests, even if they are enjoyable activities."
https://rb.gy/0cs8as

Ilovechai,

@f1337 @actuallyautistic

I prefer: "Persistent Drive for Autonomy" to describe PDA. 😌

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