I think we have a different view in Europe on it - Germany had a model of national military service until 2011 (with the option of civil service), the Nordic model includes military service etc. So it isn’t completely unimaginable - we just have a different view on the topic.
I think it is an interesting question: why should something be forbidden if it doesn’t directly harm anyone?
In my opinion, it comes down to people feeling unsafe because this kind of media is consumed by other people for (sexual) pleasure. A lot of people in our society had experience with sexual abuse and rape - especially for women the numbers are extremely high. If media with this kind of content is consumed by people for sexual gratification, it may make victims of rape feel very unsafe.
Maybe I can bring an analogy from my own life to clarify my point. I love wearing skirts regularly, most of them are mini skirts. I would feel very unsafe if I would know that one of my friends watches videos of upskirting, even if they are created by an AI. For me, that means that I won’t feel safe around them. Of course you can say “well, but why are you scared of them; they aren’t filming under your skirt, right?” And while I agree, I had my fair experience with catcalling: too many people in society don’t respect my right to wear skirt the way I want them. If I would know a friend watches this kind of content, I would doubt if I can really be safe with them.
I think it isn’t unplausible to assume that for a person who has been sexually abused, knowing that some people enjoy this kind of content would make them feel very unsafe. In case of porn, this usually is media we consume privately and don’t share with others. So no - while I don’t think the act of watching AI porn per se is harming anyone, the consequences for victims of rape absolutely do.
There were a series of accusations about our company last August from a former employee. Immediately following these accusations, LMG hired Roper Greyell - a large Vancouver-based law firm specializing in labor and employment law, to conduct a third-party investigation. Their website describes them as “one of the largest...
My partner and I just had a talk about it. Basically, she celebrated her birthday today. I was on her party, and it was fun, but I left after around 2 hours to get home and relax a bit. After I arrived, a friend of mine texted me and asked me if I wanted to go to a lake and see the sunset. I agreed, we went to the lake and went...
Actually, now that you mention it I get the reference as well :/ I honestly haven’t thought of it at all - but now I better understand why my partner was so irritated about it. What I’ve done is really the absolute cliché “hey, I’m gonna cheat now on you” thing.
Got it - that is an amazing rule for me to use. I’ll keep in mind to reserve and spend holidays with my partner (unless agrees otherwise) and periodically discuss limits. We actually communicate quite a lot, which I think is a strong point of our relationship; while we aren’t perfect here, I’m pretty proud of our communication rules.
I think the reasons I left is because the party was a bit stressful to me, I wanted a small break from my gf (already prior in the day I was at hers to fix my phone) and I wanted to get groceries. I’m not sure how to communicate appropriately to my gf that I might need a break from her though.
Hmm, got it. Well, actually I left the party and then my friend called me; it wasn’t planned for me to go meet her until I already arrived home.
When I talked about this with my gf, she urged me to put in some research in myself - which I hereby do :) I understand that she doesn’t have to explain everything to me. But it also really hurts me when she told me that her two closest friends advised to break up with me if something like that happens again. So it definitely is societally frowned upon.
And thank you for the heads-up. The friend in question gave me a neck kiss, which I talked about and told her it wasn’t okay. She is now in a relationship, and I really have the feeling she pays more attention to my boundaries now. But I’ll keep in mind to stay vigilant. I don’t think she knew my partner had her birthday today, but thank you for the warning regardless - I’ll keep it in mind.
I’m non binary (read male though) and pansexual, my girlfriend is female and panromantic, my friend is female and biromantic. All of us involved are in a relationship though, so I presume my friend isn’t romantically interested in me (anymore).
My partner knows that I’m autistic, so she specifically clarified she has understanding of my inability to read social rules. I completely agree that the societal contracts often are bullshit, and I urge to clarify to me if something doesn’t work for her, not to assume that I know that anyways (because 99% of the time I don’t know).
And I agree with you, that for me not hurting my partner here is more important than saying “I’m right though”. While of course we didn’t talk before about this specific boundary and we had different assumptions, I don’t want to hurt my partner and I’m doing my part (obligatory Starship Troopers reference) to make sure I am not harming her more than necessary.
Thank you for your comment - I appreciate it. I’ve added my comment to the original description so that the whole picture is visible to other people. Thank you for recommending me to do that; I haven’t been sure if that’s necessary, so thank you for clarifying that.
I am not sure what exactly to comment or think on you writing that my friend is romantically involved in me. My friend is already in a relationship with another guy, and I think that after her kiss I made it quite clear that I don’t want this to happen. To be honest, for me it is totally obvious that you don’t go after people who are already in a relationship, so I don’t want to interpret her actions in the light of her going after me. I like her and I appreciate our friendship, but why should she be romantically interested in me if she even explicitly said that she doesn’t go after people who are in relationships? I just think it is a basic consensus.
But also, to be honest, if I would be my own friend I would also urge myself to caution. My partner has actually asked me before I went to hers and she kissed me if I was sure she wasn’t romantically interested in me, to which I replied “yes, she definitely isn’t, why should she be?” And when I then talked with my therapist later about it, I realized that she kissed me. So my judgment of people being romantically interested in me definitely isn’t good (actually I only noticed my current partner being romantically interested in me when she began calling me “darling” and “love”, before that I just thought we are good friends.)
My girlfriend already knows the whole story, and I also know she reads this thread (hi to you btw, u potato); it is very clear to both of us that we talk about this dynamic. I think that she does a good job by sharing her concerns with me, so I don’t think she does anything wrong here.
I am not sure what to make of it. It just seems to me completely irresponsible and wrong of my friend if she is romantically interested in me to take actions in that regard when we both are in relationships. I can’t really justify to myself seeing her actions in that light, because for me it goes against fundamental moral values I have. But I’m wondering now if I just tell to myself that she isn’t romantically interested in me. Either she doesn’t get the social cues like me, or she is interested in me. I’m not sure what of these applies though.
Got it, thank you! I deeply appreciate your feedback on it. I’ve been a bit anxious if I’m the only one who feels this way, but it’s good to know that I’m not.
Don’t get me wrong, I really love my partner and she is an amazing person. I love spending time with her. But I also notice that time alone just has a different quality. So thank you for sharing your experience - I will definitely keep it in mind and clarify to her that she hasn’t done anything wrong at all, it is just my mind which sometimes needs a pause from the input of a specific person.
Thank you for your comment - I appreciate your input. And also thank you for letting me know about the blunt part - I think it was important that you wrote it down like that. Sometimes you just need to tell things in a clear way.
I’ve added the context to my original post. It is very interesting that you called me out that my gf already feels cheated on - it hasn’t appeared like that to me, but thinking about it now makes more sense. I think I would also feel at least overstepped if my partner would meet another person and cuddle without my consent. That already creates an emotional background, so to speak.
I already mentioned in another comment that it is very difficult for me to imagine my friend trying to get me to cheat on my gf. It just absolutely doesn’t make sense to me why she would try to do that. You also mention a good point - given our past and her kiss, it is necessary for me to make sure she understand that I am not interested in her. While I don’t think going to the sea is per se bad, and my gf even said she would judge it differently if I went to the sea with another person or with this specific friend on another day, it is my responsibility here to make sure to set boundaries here. Going to the sea in the evening on the birthday of my girlfriend isn’t really a boundary in that regard, is it?
And I also understand your point that you’d ask my gf (if you were her friend) if I’m trying to cheat on her. I think if I’d judge my behavior from the outside, I’d find it at least strange. While for me as an actor here my actions make total and complete sense, I also understand now why the friends of my gf told her that I’m at least trying to cheat on her.
I’m feeling unsure of what to do next. On one hand, it is important that I’m there for my friend - she is not doing well rn at all, and I’m seriously concerned about her physical safety. Events like these, where we go to to the sea, really help her. But also I see the need to draw boundaries for my and my gf’s sake and make my gf feel safe. And I also need to make sure she is doing well.
I care about both of these people, albeit for different reasons. I’m now starting to get concerned about myself, because it just seems like a really difficult dynamic to handle. It helps me to realize that my gf has reason to be upset with my actions and be hurt by them - I clearly breached societal code. I acted in the best way I could, because I care about both people - but what I’ve done wasn’t good.
Thank you for your input. I sincerely appreciate it.
Thank you for your comment on tbr energizing activity! I actually didn’t know that, but now it makes sense why e.g. playing PC games help me relax a lot.
Got it. Thank you for your comment - I honestly am grateful for it. It is good room for thought, and I’ll think on that and talk to my partner and therapist about this. I’m sure they’ll have additional thoughts on how to move forward.
I especially appreciate you telling me directly what you think. It helps me a lot.
Thank you - I appreciate your input. I’ll also share your comment with my partner, in case she hasn’t followed up this thread. I’ll think about your words.
Thank you - I’ll try it out again. I had exactly the same feeling about KDE5 - too fractured, too inconsistent, too many weird options. GNOME just was more polished in that regard. But your post makes me hopeful that KDE 6 fixes these things :)
Overall I’m just happy that Linux has multiple competing DEs which often inspire each other and give great new design ideas. As long as we have GNOME, KDE, Cinnamon, Budgie, Pantheon etc., I will be happy. I have learned lots of things in regards to my design preferences (and about quality of design in general), and I’m glad knowing that I can switch DEs anytime. RIP for Windows/Mac users who don’t have thus luxury.
World-first tooth-regrowing drug will be given to humans in September (newatlas.com)
Rishi Sunak announcing national service plans (lemmy.world)
Nonconsensual AI porn is hated on the left and right. Can Congress act on it? (www.politico.com)
Unexpected encounter
Linus Tech Tips (LTT) release investigation results on former accusations (x.com)
There were a series of accusations about our company last August from a former employee. Immediately following these accusations, LMG hired Roper Greyell - a large Vancouver-based law firm specializing in labor and employment law, to conduct a third-party investigation. Their website describes them as “one of the largest...
what's the latest image in your download folder?
that you’re willing to share obviously
My first victory! (lemmy.world)
Just forgot I need to walk back out for the ultimate victory…
Thank you, our future 🌐 (sh.itjust.works)
Source - @TropicalDingdong
If you are a Libertarian and hold liberty as your core value, why do you not believe in universal healthcare? Nothing impacts liberty more than sickness and death.
What are things considered romantic, to be avoided in a relationship?
My partner and I just had a talk about it. Basically, she celebrated her birthday today. I was on her party, and it was fun, but I left after around 2 hours to get home and relax a bit. After I arrived, a friend of mine texted me and asked me if I wanted to go to a lake and see the sunset. I agreed, we went to the lake and went...
Appreciation post for Plasma 6 - My current experience with the Fedora 40 beta
I’ve always been a Gnome fanboy and couldn’t imagine using something else....