my fashionable straight friend gets really mad when i introduce him as "my fashionable straight friend" to other people but that's literally who he is...
@ShaMyouiMo nah bro we got black widows out here and shit i ain't fuckin with no more spiders. one just ran after cricket and then played dead when i slapped it with my slipper, when tried to pick it up it ROSE FROM CURLING UP AND CHARGED ME LIKE NIGGA NAHH i ain't fuckin with that. these niggas play dirty. fuckin' keep having them land in my hair from the ceiling. ain't fuckin welcome here.
was talking with a female friend a few days ago:
<zonk, you should go donate blood!!! i got 90 bucks for it
>oh, i can't
<why not? dramatic pause while i look her straight in the eye
>i love fucking MEN too much
i don't think ive ever seen someone look so shocked lmao
@ShaMyouiMo the year is 2060, you walk outside to see floating pairs of various types of pants, most are skirts. sweating already, you mutter under your breath "where.. are the emos.. and the cowboys.."