@Dani@mastodon.sandwich.net
@Dani@mastodon.sandwich.net avatar

Dani

@Dani@mastodon.sandwich.net

Yet another birdsite refugee... and now here. WIP, TBD. She/her, trans/lesbian, married dad, mechanical engineer, car girl. HRT 5/2/2022

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Impossible_PhD, to random
@Impossible_PhD@hachyderm.io avatar

Ever have those days where you're kinda just tired and have zero filter because you're tired and the thirst is getting to you and you kinda wanna talk about degenerate nonsensr on main but it's a terrible idea and you're too bashful anyway?

I should probably get the hell off social media for the rest of the day.

Dani,
@Dani@mastodon.sandwich.net avatar

@Impossible_PhD Gosh yes I know that

Dani, to random
@Dani@mastodon.sandwich.net avatar

So I'm a bit over two years into this stuff but with surrounding life I haven't gotten out to socialize much... busy with various things with partner medical issues and parenting, plus RSD. But a friend I've been talking to on twitter since very shortly after hatching explicitly invited me to a bonfire she had yesterday and I went down.

Dani,
@Dani@mastodon.sandwich.net avatar

What a hoot! Ended up split close to half and half between trans folks and local friends of hers; hanging out around a fire, beers, s'mores, and nobody bothering us or being weird to us. I mean OK we were all weird but nobody treated any of us as anything other than our real gender.

Impossible_PhD, to random
@Impossible_PhD@hachyderm.io avatar

A thought:

I've met more altersex people than I ever expected since I started talking about my stuff on here. I still self-censor a fair bit, not out of shame, but because enough non-altersex (allosex? Too close to allosexual, but fucked if I know the term) always dip in that I end up spending a lot of time explaining anyway and it's just frustrating because I cen never get into the details of what I actually wanted to talk about because of it.

I wish there was some sort of closed community--

Dani,
@Dani@mastodon.sandwich.net avatar

@Impossible_PhD yeah, ES is fundamentally about trauma and feelings about it rather than this, for all a bunch of folks are also in this boat.

I don't have a solution but am interested in the question.

Impossible_PhD, to random
@Impossible_PhD@hachyderm.io avatar

Blech, I've got an emotional hangover from last night. Like it was a wonderful talk, but Emotion Batteries are saying E today. -_-

Dani,
@Dani@mastodon.sandwich.net avatar

@Impossible_PhD ๐Ÿซ‚ I know that one too

Impossible_PhD, to random
@Impossible_PhD@hachyderm.io avatar

I kinda love doing lip filler, and I really love the first lipstick pass I get to do after a fill, with all the extra swelling from the needle-poking

Even if the result is a little... emphatic. ๐Ÿคญ

Dani,
@Dani@mastodon.sandwich.net avatar

@Impossible_PhD
For several possible reasons, I'd imagine. ๐Ÿซ‚

@kelidanovus

indigotyrian, to random
@indigotyrian@akko.elysium.gay avatar

I should post here more. I should post more just in general. Never was good about posting. More of a reply-doll

Dani,
@Dani@mastodon.sandwich.net avatar

@indigotyrian Saaaaame. She says, in response.

Impossible_PhD, to random
@Impossible_PhD@hachyderm.io avatar

Doing some writing today, and I just want to say:

Celebrate every single fucking part of yourself that anyone ever told you to be ashamed of. Yes, that part. Especially that part. Especially if it has to do with your gender or sexuality or any fucking part of your body.

Celebrate your kinks.
Celebrate your failures.
Be too much.
Be too much in public.

Dani,
@Dani@mastodon.sandwich.net avatar

@Impossible_PhD @PearlescentFerret right? Uh, for curiosity

Dani,
@Dani@mastodon.sandwich.net avatar

@DivineKestrel @Impossible_PhD ๐Ÿ’œ๐Ÿซ‚

Impossible_PhD, to random
@Impossible_PhD@hachyderm.io avatar

So I saw a FB post in the wild, and I'm not posting a screenshot because, you know, someone's name is on it.

But it went:

"So when I was 15 I got my V card punched watching the Matrix and even though I'm 35 now and have been out as trans for 8 years, I'm somehow only just now realizing that there was some very heavy-handedly foreshadowing."

๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ

I just had to share that because it's too perfect by half.

Dani,
@Dani@mastodon.sandwich.net avatar

@Impossible_PhD Hopefully not in the theater!

Ahem. Though I'm wondering what other foreshadowing I missed for myself

Dani, to random
@Dani@mastodon.sandwich.net avatar

@Impossible_PhD I don't remember!

... and I have the perfect GM to take this in front of...

Dani,
@Dani@mastodon.sandwich.net avatar

@Impossible_PhD ๐Ÿซก

Dani,
@Dani@mastodon.sandwich.net avatar

@Impossible_PhD After copying those to a discord:

"This is the first time I've considered deleting a piece of media here" from the DM, but other players thought it sounded great. Now to see if I still have a D&D group in a few weeks (that last is a joke)

Dani,
@Dani@mastodon.sandwich.net avatar

@Impossible_PhD actual conflict, we're all just making fun of our own positions in a way. ๐Ÿ˜†

DivineKestrel, to random
@DivineKestrel@chaosfem.tw avatar

Star Trek #TNG S4E7: Reunion

A full third of the time K'Ehleyr speaks, my panties get wet.

That is all I got right now.

Dani,
@Dani@mastodon.sandwich.net avatar

@DivineKestrel Reasonable

Impossible_PhD, to random
@Impossible_PhD@hachyderm.io avatar

So in therapy today we had some catch up and among the raised topics of conversation was whether my aversion to being flirted with actually has ANYTHING AT ALL to do with my demisexuality, or whether it literally just me being autistic and having never been flirted with by anyone except my wife, so I just automatically go into new-social-situation panic mode and that is the source of my discomfort

And my therapist goes "Yeah, I'd suspected that that was probably the case."

FUN TIMES!!! ๐Ÿ™ƒ

Dani,
@Dani@mastodon.sandwich.net avatar

@Impossible_PhD... hm. I wonder if also maybe, "if this is unsubtle enough to be noticed it's very crass"?

Yes I'm extrapolating from myself ๐Ÿ˜…

Dani,
@Dani@mastodon.sandwich.net avatar

@Impossible_PhD Well exactly; same. ๐Ÿ˜

thejessiekirk, to random
@thejessiekirk@mastodon.social avatar

Currently a "plants scientist" [sic] is trying to convince me that plants scream in pain but I can't hear it (but cats can).

Therefore vEgAnS bAd.

I asked to see their journal-published, peer-reviewed and academically-accepted scientific paper on this and they have gone quiet.

Funny that ๐Ÿคช

Dani,
@Dani@mastodon.sandwich.net avatar

@thejessiekirk there does get to be a bit... "OK well fuck, it's not like I can just photosynthesize..."

Dani,
@Dani@mastodon.sandwich.net avatar

@thejessiekirk I'm just saying, even if there was, then what?

thejessiekirk, to random
@thejessiekirk@mastodon.social avatar

Gay ๐Ÿซต

Dani,
@Dani@mastodon.sandwich.net avatar

@thejessiekirk OK but same to you. ๐Ÿ˜

Impossible_PhD, to trans
@Impossible_PhD@hachyderm.io avatar

How many times have you looked at this trans person or that trans person and found yourself just in awe of them, feeling hopeless to ever measure up to their transness? I know I have.

This week on #StainedGlassWoman, Red Seems Sus, which means we're investigating imposters... or rather, why trans folks often feel like we're not trans enough, or not really trans by comparison to others. I promise: you won't be thrown out an airlock! ๐Ÿคญ

#trans #psychology #enby #MtF #FtM

https://stainedglasswoman.substack.com/p/red-seems-sus

Dani, (edited )
@Dani@mastodon.sandwich.net avatar

@Impossible_PhD Hmm. I think what my imposter syndrome hits about may be atypical, due to the framework I look at... a lot of things through. Ever since I figured out what I want to do there wasn't a question of being "trans enough" - in my heart of hearts, "I want to change how my body is shaped and my presentation" is enough, and I had no doubt I wanted that once I figured out.

Now, "to what?" or "will I be successful enough for my taste?" on the other hand... ๐Ÿ˜…

Dani,
@Dani@mastodon.sandwich.net avatar

@Impossible_PhD Like, knowing the start of what I want with enough surety to start... doesn't make chasing or even having dreams of who I could be any less daunting.

... but it's enough to know that I have enough reason, for my taste, to granite certainty, to keep heading forwards

Dani, (edited )
@Dani@mastodon.sandwich.net avatar

@Impossible_PhD I mean, you keep writing/saying all this stuff that feels close to parallel so I'm not surprised! ๐Ÿ˜†

But OK it's kinda... I know to my bones any type of what I want is called being trans. And that knowledge has been a helpful crucible for relating to the wider community for all its ups and downs.

indigotyrian, to random
@indigotyrian@akko.elysium.gay avatar

just had someone spin up at least three sockpuppets on bluesky specifically to send me hate speech so I think the partyโ€™s officially over now there

Dani,
@Dani@mastodon.sandwich.net avatar

@indigotyrian At least here there's some fukkin options.

Impossible_PhD, (edited ) to random
@Impossible_PhD@hachyderm.io avatar

So @RainofTerra linked me this lovely interview with Jane Schoenbrun, director and writer of I Saw the TV Glow: https://a24films.com/notes/2024/05/that-little-creature-a-note-from-jane-schoenbrun?fbclid=iwzxh0bgnhzw0cmteaar3pvrgg9vqaznqrqxpvul0g8e6ayw_sqh22dnwtpb_xmqmwhbazngz2fvu_aem_awevlwet6u0-lmx1oh9zhvopyjxpr4

An absolutely lovely read. Totally worth your while.

But then towards the end there's this one line that comes out of absolute nowhere. And like... I don't want to read into it, but liiiiiiiiike... Certain things are hard to not notice in transfem circles.

We really do all share a single brain, don't we?

Dani,
@Dani@mastodon.sandwich.net avatar

@Impossible_PhD Yeah; and like I said I intellectually get the appeal but I Can Not.

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