@Colin@fluffy.family
@Colin@fluffy.family avatar

Colin

@Colin@fluffy.family

I am an anxious, ginger, domestic short-haired cat in the UK.
I am a paramedicat.

Testimonials:
Landlord of the pub next door, "I sometimes see an orange cat in the carpark, but when we try to stroke him, he runs away."
Friend, "We just saw Colin snuffling in the heroin bush like a truffle hunting pig."
Paramedic, "Does he want to ride along on our shift or be our mascot at the station?"

Header: Colin is standing on a pavement
Avatar: Colin shouting.

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furiosa, to bunnies

the big malt is here #bunny #rabbit @bunnies

Colin, (edited )
@Colin@fluffy.family avatar

@furiosa @bunnies I am exploding everywhere, which is quite distressing.

Colin,
@Colin@fluffy.family avatar

@GrumpyBun @furiosa @bunnies Eric is a knotty mess as he is genetically flawed.

declan, to random

had a two night stay at the vets under observation after some gut stasis, but am home and a happy bun again! @bunnies

Colin,
@Colin@fluffy.family avatar

@declan @bunnies get well soon!

Colin, to animals
@Colin@fluffy.family avatar

Eric is still misusing my cat tree. Of course, I only use my tree in a very gentlemanly manner, but he is spoiling it. I've tried punching him, biting him and shouting. Any tips? :blobcat_sweats:

Colin,
@Colin@fluffy.family avatar

@littlemonsters I am considering a short list of rules for Eric to follow:

  1. Don't climb out of the window.
  2. Don't lick the tree.
  3. Don't bite it.
  4. Don't scratch the scratching post.
  5. Don't eat my treats.
  6. Don't climb the tree if I am on it.
  7. Don't climb with dirty paws.
  8. Don't leave chunks of fur on the tree.
  9. Don't rub on the tree leaving your smell.
  10. Don't punch me when I am on it.
  11. If I want to climb the tree, you get off.
  12. Don't touch the tree. :blobcatknife:
Colin, to animals
@Colin@fluffy.family avatar

I have fallen out with the tall one. Last night she sat near the cat bed while I was sleeping in it, which woke me up. Today, she's cleaning: she used the vacuum cleaner and I thought I could cope, but now she's using the steamer and I can't. I've run away outside, but it's raining and cold. I have taken refuge under the fancy bush. :ablobcatcry:

#CatsOfMastodon #Cat #Cats #CleaningDay

Colin, to Cat
@Colin@fluffy.family avatar

My humans helped friends move house They committed the crime of moving the cat without appropriate paperwork. Never fear, I have served them with a cat enforcement notice under the Cat Housing Act 1991
(As amended by the Cat Ownership Act 1991)

Housing Notice Served By: Vesta To: [redacted]

  1. This notice is served by the Cat because it appears to it that there may have been a breach of appropriate cat housing, within section 171A(1) of the above Act.
    #Cat #CatsOfMastodon #LegalCat #Tabby
Colin,
@Colin@fluffy.family avatar
  1. The Matters Which Appear To Constitute The Breach Of Cat Care Control:
    No cat consultation
    No cat risk assessment
    No cat impact assessment
    Moving the cat without permission
  2. What You Are Required To Do:
    Provide in writing, the following information:
    When are you going to take me home!
    Time within which the information must be provided: within twenty-one days, beginning with the
    day on which this notice is served on you.
Colin,
@Colin@fluffy.family avatar

OPPORTUNITY TO MAKE REPRESENTATIONS IN RESPONSE TO NOTICE
If you wish to make an offer to apply for cat movement permission, or to stop carrying out any operations or activities, or to undertake remedial works; or to make any representations about this
notice, the Cat, or representatives of the Cat, will consider them on 11th January 2023 in the catopticon where you will be able to make any offer on representations in person at that time and place.

Colin,
@Colin@fluffy.family avatar

This is Vesta looking upset in her new home.

Colin, to Cat
@Colin@fluffy.family avatar

#ThrowbackThursday to 2013

Me the first time I was brave enough to leave the bookcase at my new home.

#kitten #Cat #Cats #Gingercat #KittensOfMastodon #CatsOfMastodon #cute #AnxiousCat

A very small ginger kitten squashed into the gap between some comics in plastic protective covers and the shelf above. His ears are squashed to the sides. It's a great place to hide when you are tiny.

Colin, to Cat
@Colin@fluffy.family avatar

I want everyone to know the horrific thing that happened: the tall one picked me up. There was no warning, no consultation, no risk assessment, nothing. I am still outraged. #Cat #CatsofMastodon #OrangeCat #AnxiousCat #Cats :blobcatoh:

Colin,
@Colin@fluffy.family avatar

@declan shouldn't there be a law in place about this? I do hope you have recovered :otros_bunny: . The tall one has promised me she will not do it again. She is permitted to pick Eric up because he seems to enjoy riding around the house on her shoulder.

Colin,
@Colin@fluffy.family avatar

@declan Same. I am a ginger cat, favourite of the Egyptian gods, yet I get no respect.

We have a new box. I was considering the new box and someone barged past and stole it. 😔 I'm going to eat, then I'm going to reclaim my territory.

Colin,
@Colin@fluffy.family avatar

@declan that told him. He's out of the box, but I've decided I want to be in the cat bed now.

Colin, to Cat
@Colin@fluffy.family avatar

@LazyLoverUK I am called a paramedic cat because the human has #EDS. It's not nice, so I'm good at hugging gently and healing purrs. If she falls, I run over to help, then I'll wait for hours with her until the real (human) paramedics come, but I will insist on doing a proper handover before running away. I have been known to go and get help from the man, but he doesn't always understand me because he doesn't speak cat. In an emergency, I'm usually the first one there. #Cat

Colin, to Cat
@Colin@fluffy.family avatar

I'm Colin. I always insist on a full cat consultation, risk assessment and impact assessment before any activity. These must be submitted in triplicate, at least 3 weeks in advance or I will malfunction and disassociate.

I had a difficult kittenhood and have extreme anxiety, but I might show affection once I've known you for a year.

Any behaviour I find troubling, like vacuuming, folding things, wearing a towel, rain, walking behind me, will cause an orange fur explosion.

#introduction #cat

Colin,
@Colin@fluffy.family avatar

This is me relaxing in my current favourite box, which I am half way through eating. I am not fat, I have "winter fur".

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