What happened with the sphinx though?

Transcription:

How To Confound A Centaur

Centaur: Hold it right there, you can’t just ride through my fields uncontested! I’ll lose my credibility if we don’t battle or something.

Me: That’s fair. How about we–

Centaur: And it can’t be a pun battle, I heard what you did to the sphinx.

Me: Darn. Okay, what if I beat you in a horse race?

Centaur: Ha! Alright, your funeral. Where’s the finish line?

Me: That tree over there. Where’s your horse?

Centaur: (gestures at horsey backside) Um…?

Me: You’re not a horse, this is a HORSE race. You have to race with an actual horse.

Centaur: You want me… a centaur… to RIDE a regular horse.

Me: That is, linguistically-speaking, what you agreed to.

Centaur: …

Me: …

Centaur: I hate you.

Me: That’s fair.

_skj,

Sphinx: You there, knight. I am the guardian of this place and cannot allow you to pass without a battle.

Me: My name is Ender, Sir Ender to you. And I’m a bit weary from my long journey here, would you accept a pun battle?

Sphinx: Aye, Sir Ender.

Me: Thank you, please move aside

gmtom,

Is the Sphinx Scottish?

_skj,

To make the setup work, aye

bradorsomething,

Sphinx was probably riddled with puns in that exchange.

Trashcan,

Dog racing is dogs running without a rider. I’m sure there have happened riderless horseracing before. I spot a fault in the logic!

Zagorath,
@Zagorath@aussie.zone avatar

Riderless horseracing maybe, but surely never horseless horseracing.

ICastFist,
@ICastFist@programming.dev avatar

When you least expect it, a horse-riding centaur…

https://programming.dev/pictrs/image/814b96b7-5063-4c60-adfd-61e7b2eb0451.jpeg

salsa - deviantart.com/…/DnD-Centaur-Mechanics-BaalBuddy-…

Kolanaki,
@Kolanaki@yiffit.net avatar

Clickbait YouTube title:

“Can you beat D&D using only Charisma?”

Bunnylux,
@Bunnylux@lemmy.world avatar

This pedant is hated my every fantastical creature in the realm.

bradorsomething,

The Fey Hate This One Trick!

Imgonnatrythis,

Is it gross if a centaur borks a regular horse?

Zagorath,
@Zagorath@aussie.zone avatar

And if the answer to that is yes…is it more or less gross than if the centaur borked a human?

Logh,

From the human perpective, probably the horse is a little bit less gross. From the centaur perpective, probably the human is less gross, but I’m only half centaur, so can’t speak for all of them.

BubbleMonkey,

The hooves must make it difficult for you to type.

Logh,

Neigh, it’s the other half.

Zagorath,
@Zagorath@aussie.zone avatar

Photo showing a white horse stepping on a large keyboard where the keys are large enough to be easily usable by a horse hoof.

CaptainBlagbird,
@CaptainBlagbird@lemmy.world avatar

I’m only half centaur

does that mean you are 3/4 human and 1/4 horse?

Or 1/4 human, 3/4 horse?

Or 1/4 human, 1/4 horse and 1/2 something else?

samus12345,
@samus12345@lemmy.world avatar

Only their upper half is centaur - the lower half is human.

GrymEdm,

https://lemmy.world/pictrs/image/80e9b562-65bc-49e8-893b-9ded87780b90.jpeg

Zozano,

It depends how it flops.

Does it flop at the first set of legs, or the second?

SkyezOpen,

Human part tends to end around the navel so… Second.

JoeBigelow,
@JoeBigelow@lemmy.ca avatar

I can’t type what I’m thinking

Zagorath,
@Zagorath@aussie.zone avatar

Would a centaur have two navels?

SkyezOpen,

They definitely have two ribcages. That might imply two hearts and multiples of other organs.

Rinn,

Way less gross. Human and centaur are both intelligent, can communicate, and give consent, so it would be fine. With a horse (which has none of these things) the centaur would be committing bestiality.

AEsheron,

Well, in many games there is a Speak With Animals spells or equivalent. They are capable of communication, we just usually can’t understand.

Flushmaster,

Apply the Harkness test (self aware intelligence, physical maturity, and ability to communicate consent). Both humans and centaurs pass assuming the individual is a willing adult, horses fail twice due to being nonsapient and uncommunicative.

Aielman15, (edited )
@Aielman15@lemmy.world avatar

deleted_by_author

    •
    Zagorath,
    @Zagorath@aussie.zone avatar

    I’m afraid I don’t get it.

    Kayana,

    Try pronouncing the ‘a’ in pan like the ‘a’ in large, then you’ll end up with a rather well-done pun.

    MossyFeathers,

    I already do. Is this some weird thing only britoids or Australians understand?

    Zagorath,
    @Zagorath@aussie.zone avatar

    RP might use a similar vowel, but even most modern British people don’t seem to pronounce these very similarly based on this pronouncing dictionary’s advice and sample clips. And I can confirm as an Australian that Australian English accents don’t pronounce them remotely similarly.

    MossyFeathers,

    Ah, I failed to notice your instance which I why I asked about aussies.

    9point6,

    A parn?

    Kayana,

    Got a laugh from me, but I did mean only the ‘a’, not the ‘ar’. I couldn’t think of any other English word with that sound unfortunately, do you have a better suggestion?

    9point6,

    Unfortunately I can’t seem to get it to work for any sound with my hodgepodge of an English accent. Perhaps it could work with a very thick cockney accent, but the length of the vowel would be quite different between the two,

    e.g. puhn and paahn

    Zagorath,
    @Zagorath@aussie.zone avatar

    So if you grossly mispronounce the word, it becomes a pun? I don’t think that’s a very good pun, tbh…

    Kayana,

    To be honest, I don’t really like it either, which might surprise you considering my last sentence. I just couldn’t resist making a small pun myself.

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