At this month’s partner/spousal bereavement support group, the topic came up of all of the moments of discovery or delight that are made more profound or joyful by having someone to turn to and share them with. This include big moments (like experiencing the recent eclipse), little moments (like learning a piece of trivia), commonplace events that are suddenly precious (like spending time with one’s children or grandchildren), and striking events whose meaning or appropriate response is hard to grasp (like finding an injured bird).
The absence of a kindred spirit who is committed to deeply knowing us forces us to find a new way of knowing ourselves and of making daily life still feel real, surprising, or enjoyable. It’s hard to stay buoyant and avoid taking ourselves too seriously without someone around interrupting our own thoughts with their silly and surprising observations.