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xinicit, to random
@xinicit@floe.earth avatar

Unleavened bread: Boring, Old Testament-y
Tortillas: Ole! It’s a flatbread fiesta, and you can make chips!

xinicit, to random
@xinicit@floe.earth avatar

Converting Mexicans to Christianity was a real coup for Heaven’s menu.

xinicit, to random
@xinicit@floe.earth avatar

It’s only tentacle porn if it’s from the Tentacle region of Japan. Otherwise it’s just wiggly hentai.

xinicit, to mentalhealth
@xinicit@floe.earth avatar

To the growing concern of people on my friends list, I’ve been talking about mental health a lot lately. The reason I’m talking about mental health is because my #mentalhealth is in the absolute shitter. I do not have in person supporting relationships, do not have money for therapy, and definitely don’t have money to move. Does anyone know any self validation strategies? I feel like I can’t rely on other people to treat me like my experience matters, and need to know how to do that for myself.

xinicit, to random
@xinicit@floe.earth avatar

Protip: Describe your lovemaking style as “freestyle and improvisational” so that your partner will think you’re a misunderstood genius instead of bad in bed.

xinicit, to random
@xinicit@floe.earth avatar

Pro tip: there is a big difference between being aroused by jazz music and having a scat fetish.

xinicit, to random
@xinicit@floe.earth avatar

Perfectionists in movies: Oh wow! He works hard, pays attention to detail, makes a lot of money and has lots of sex in his tasteful condominium.

Perfectionists in real life: Immobilized by fear of failure to the point that they are afraid they will lose their jobs. The bed is for crying.

xinicit, to random
@xinicit@floe.earth avatar

He likes to rhyme, and he hates crime! This fall, Sammy Nash is taking out the trash!

Poetic Justice!

Thursdays, on NBC!

xinicit, to random
@xinicit@floe.earth avatar

I bet leaving the theater with my wife and son via the exit that goes directly into Crime Alley would fix me.

xinicit, to random
@xinicit@floe.earth avatar

I think a bird of prey mistaking my bald head for a shiny rock and dropping a turtle onto it from a great height would fix me.

xinicit, to random
@xinicit@floe.earth avatar

I don’t think I will ever be a big account because I post about my mental health on main. People may be into my humorous takes on goth mommies, but no one wants to see the dark underbelly of livin’ la vida loca.

billyjoebowers,
@billyjoebowers@mastodon.online avatar

@xinicit

What's this about Goth moms?

billyjoebowers,
@billyjoebowers@mastodon.online avatar

@xinicit @LoganFive

I think it's weird that more than a dozen people follow me, but I don't take it personally. They're just bored.

xinicit, to random
@xinicit@floe.earth avatar

Got really excited to talk with a bunch of people about how good “Rainbow In The Dark” is, but all anyone at this Dio-rama conference wants to do is show me their shoeboxes full of dolls boning.

billyjoebowers,
@billyjoebowers@mastodon.online avatar

@xinicit

Stealing the lyric "shoeboxes full of dolls boning"

xinicit, to random
@xinicit@floe.earth avatar

Whom amongst us has not had their bidet malfunction and shaken up a can of La Croix in a desperate act of hygiene?

xinicit, to random
@xinicit@floe.earth avatar

The period of time between when the sex dolls became sentient and the end of the bloodshed is referred to by historians as “Bot Girl Summer.”

xinicit, to random
@xinicit@floe.earth avatar

I feel like the people who tell you to touch grass probably need to touch some booty.

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