Due to the amount of days I’ve accrued in my leave balance, I officially was able to put in my two weeks’ notice with the United States Air Force today.
This is a weird time for me. I’m figuring out what my future looks like, and planning on going back to school full-time. Part of me is really happy, another part of me is sad, worried, terrified, burnt out, and depressed.
I had some amazing experiences, and met some incredible people. We made memories together. Walking away from that puts me in a really weird spot. I have to take time to figure my shit out.
@deadsuperhero I'm retired and only now have the time to figure this kind of stuff out.
A few things I have to work on daily are being kind to myself, not caring how that looks to others, and remembering that I'm different, have different needs that even I have to keep reminding myself about.
One of those is that I've always needed more time than others, for anything, and that it is bad for me to go against that. Unfortunately it's been the habit of a lifetime, so hard to change.
One of my biggest fears about going back to school is this internal idea that I’m just not smart enough. I know it’s not true, but I frequently have bad dreams about being the kind of student I was 15 years ago: lazy, scatterbrained, and absent.
I have this enormous opportunity, but I’m scared that I’m going to waste it. I worked hard to get here. I’m just afraid of self-sabotage.
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