This may need a little explanation. The first stanza is the moon speaking to an ancient star which exploded and ejected elements which make up our solar system. The second stanza is the star responding, now burnt out and accelerating away due to universe expansion. Technically the prompt specified the star as lonely, but in this poem the moon is the one which is lonely.
Oh heart who hath me forsaken,
Hast thou forgotten thy child?
I orbit estranged from thy warm embrace,
'Round distant twin I shelter,
Early 'twas to start thy journey,
I fear to join thee,
And be nothing.
My dearest beloved,
Thou art not estranged!
For hath not thou found thy own place?
Worry not afore thou must,
That thou might enjoy thy shelter,
When thou art ready, knowledge shall be thine,
To be nothing, is to know peace.
the starlings pouring in over the hills
those days when we'd sprawl
across the top of Tilting Rock
counting seconds
as they blackened the sky
minute after minute
of clouds
of fluttering calls and chirps and trills
of tiny swooping black bodies
hurtling through the wraith cold sky
sweeping down to feast on the grapes
left rotting on the vine
Orion gave me a silver bullet
even as Scorpio chased him
from Bangkok to New York
strangely enough, he had no idea I'd been bitten
but today I shot it through the vineyards
rode it purring beneath my feet
racing the starbirds as they tumbled through the air
and found the beast receding
and thug,
swung low on the Cambodian mud
brought a baby dragon for my buddha
down from Shangri-La
He perches on the south window
basking in the cascading light
as the sun rises through red-gold leaves
over the playground and winding creek
laughing as the children play
and the memories of Nepal soften
into clay
Sagittarius is waking
healer
truth dealer
firewise in the frost
an escape Claus
as the year nears death
and lovers make Leos leap from bedsheets
slipping summerborn babies
into the startled arms of their fathers
remember
the birth
of December...
winter is the best time to plant
the most brilliant flowers
Rain from the great blue into your eyes
I wonder how it feels on your skin
Though seeing you grow is its own prize
Oh tulip, of this wonderful garden
In my world of stone and fast cars
In your intrepid world of blue green
My sky blocks the light of the stars
But your sky is so lovely and clean
I’m sorry for what we’ve done to you
For your ancestors slaughtered
Beneath our feet, we kill your new
And those we leave unwatered
And as our world halts when the rain strikes
Those are the days your kind really likes
I’m sorry I’ve judged, now I beg your pardon
Oh tulip, of this wonderful garden.
Oh you stars
How you shine all night
The way I block
The might of your light
I have dark sides
Yet you’re solely glow
How you manage that
I don’t even know
Your luster never fades
Your bright always stays
Then there’s my dim gleam
Barely lighting the sky
I’ll never reach your light
No matter how hard I try.
Mist-laden air is whisper still,
Softening dawn's tentative light,
A natural temple, awash in silent hymms,
As plants, their colours freshly painted,
Sing thanks to the rain,
Cold air, misty
Saturated colours
Smell of rain and earth
Quiet, still, peaceful
Soft grass is dewy
First poem:
Soft. Silent. Still.
Mist suspended, softening,
Dawn's tentative light,
Rooted to the ground,
Natural beauty in,
Swollen leaves sated,
Colours freshly painted, <- Particularly like this line
Threw out a couple of lines:
Suspended, the world,
Grey laden air,
Second poem:
Mist-laden air is whisper still, <- Particularly like "whisper still"
Softening dawn's tentative light,
A canvas of natural beauty, <- Canvas metaphor doesn't work (plus cliche)
Shiny leaves sated, <- These 2 verses don't fit the rhythm of the first 3
Colours freshly painted,
And so I stand still. <- The previous 2 verses feel like they're building to something, then this line cuts it off. It emphasizes a quiet meditative state by being juxtaposed with the build up. BUT, the word "still" is repeated
** Finally:**
Consider the nature of the space, determine that "temple" best describes the idea, and work in the required rain element.
Abandon the "And so I stand still." line.
Threw out a few more lines:
A natural temple to share the joy of rain with plants,
A natural temple to contemplate,
The joy of rain,
A natural temple crafted by rain,
Plants with shiny leaves sated,
Their colours freshly painted,
A natural temple, too fragile for sound,
Plants adorned by rain,
Their colours freshly painted,
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