I don't have the spoons to explain why I feel my neurodivergence is making this worse, but I need feedback or insight from other ND people on a unique experience. This will be a long thread (added in replies) but I'm hopeful there will be a few kind readers who either relate or have something supportive to share.
Here goes:
1/ @actuallyautistic@actuallyaudhd #recoveringfromreligion #LateDiagnosedAutism #actuallyautistic#neurodivergent
Thanks again for all those who have been so considerate and responded to this thread. It makes me curious if there's a discord space where you hang out? Those who offered DMs ...I'd be open to it, and it's also more comfortable for me to respond than initiate, or to chat in a more private space regularly before doing one-on-one (at least for me). So, if such a server exists, do share (either in DM or comments) 😉🙏🏻
@arisummerland@actuallyautistic@actuallyaudhd
Thx. I looked and funnily enough I joined it in April, but didn't remember till check. I guess I'll try doing more than reacting to posts. 🫢
@Ilovechai@actuallyautistic@actuallyaudhd oufff sounds rough! I've never been in the situation to leave those type of religious systems as my parents are U-boat Christians (only show up 1-2 a year) and I've been consciously atheistic since my teens but I do relate to feeling lack of a RL support system. For me the nerd space has been the best (TTRPGs, Magic, comics, boardgames etc) & I think is disproportionately filled with other ND peeps. There are people with similar social needs out there!
@Ilovechai@actuallyautistic@actuallyaudhd I’m so sorry this is happening. I’m super biased against religion. I belonged to my church’s youth group as a teen so I’m a bit familiar with that
Navigating community conflicts like those seem REALLY tough for us, i guess bc of the overlapping details. I’ve been trying to find/join/glom onto communities recently & I try to go in with zero expectations & 💯 self compassion, and I’m finding slow success in bits
@Ilovechai@actuallyautistic@actuallyaudhd I started going to the dog park, tho I have no dog, for my mental health. Dog owners get it & are supportive. I went for the dogs, but met some people who I am slowly getting to know. I am finding as I chat, share my pov, laugh, & talk about some of these things they have also shared with me some of their stories. It made me realize so many are just broken & shattered & feeling the same struggle. It’s free. And if nothing else…dogs & fresh air.
@Ilovechai@actuallyautistic@actuallyaudhd it has been interesting to see some of these women who feel they relate to me, when I say I self dx’d autistic, and how my autism affects how I think about whatever social construct we happen to be talking about, wonder aloud if they might be too.
but here I am, trying to have spaces to find connection and ASD or post religion spaces seems to be the safest 🤔 (every time I decide to leave exreligious spaces from deconstruction topic burnout, I find my way back because its the place I find like minded people) I guess I'm just here to vent about how f*cking terribly cruel shunning is.
5/
(despite having 15-20 yr friendships before leaving.)
When you lose your entire support system, and you see red flags of manipulation or non-reciprocation miles away.... somedays it feels like I just have to accept that freedom of mind has to be enough, cuz trusting relationships was the price...
4/
but so far, online spaces seem to feel the safest. I think being in a high demand religion with insta-friends masked some of my limits in socializing or maintaining friendships. Literally 4 to 5 in person 'friend groups' I attempted to engage in over the post faith years, all imploded 1-2 yrs later. I'm starting to fear I'll never have connections that survive beyond that now
3/
Not sure how to describe it, but I'm feeling frustrated that despite the fact that my faith deconstruction began in 2015, and I officially left the religion in 2016; I still miss the closeness and belonging I once had. I'm Hella triggered by organized retreats or post religion gatherings... it seems to have the same flavor as church.. I get that people are wanting connection. Obviously so do I..
2/
There are a couple of autism-supportive groups who get table/tent spaces at our local pride. Although there are some church booths there, too, it's not exactly what you'd call a sacred space. The whole religion thing is rendered irrelevant. Super friendly, and the people are there to do nothing but connect people to other people, and organizations.
If you want to get really friendly, and have the chutzpa to be pro-active, volunteer at one.
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