Let's get this over with. I stopped making new year resolutions many years ago, because most of them were shot by the end of January. Now I make a list of achievable goals. That said, here goes:
I will not eat beets...
...or pickled herring...
...or jellied eels.
I will not let my weight get over 400 lbs
I will not enter the Tour de France
I will not win the Daytona 500
I will donate some books to the Little Free Library across the street from my office
