Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs: A Terry Crews Rendition
Scene 1: Snow White’s Introduction
Snow White (Terry Crews) is introduced as a charismatic and strong character, loved by all animals in the forest. He’s strong but gentle, charming, and not afraid to show his emotional side. He sings to the animals with a deep, booming voice, a hilarious contrast to the original character’s high-pitched singing.
Snow White: (singing in deep voice) "I’m wishing, (I’m wishing) for the one I love, to find me, (to find me) today…"
Scene 2: Meeting the Huntsman
The Queen orders the Huntsman to bring back Snow White’s heart. However, the Huntsman cannot bring himself to harm Snow White, who’s flexing his muscles and humming a cheerful tune.
Huntsman: “I… I can’t do it. Forgive me, Snow White.”
Snow White: (flexing) "No worries, man. Everyone has a hard time dealing with these guns."
Scene 3: Discovering the Cottage
Upon discovering the dwarfs’ cottage, Snow White starts cleaning. However, instead of the delicate tidying of the original, Terry Crews’ Snow White lifts heavy furniture single-handedly and dusts with a peacock feather duster, all while maintaining a contagious cheerfulness.
Snow White: "Well, this place needs a little muscle love. Let’s get to it!"
Scene 4: Meeting the Dwarfs
Snow White wins over the dwarfs with his charm and kindness. His interactions with the dwarfs are playful and endearing, unlike the traditional motherly role of the original Snow White.
Snow White: "You guys could use some protein in your diet. What do you say, tomorrow we start the day with a proper workout and a protein shake?"
Scene 5: The Poison Apple
When the Queen, disguised as an old woman, offers Snow White the poisoned apple, Snow White is hesitant but doesn’t want to be rude. He takes a bite and collapses in a dramatic, comedic fashion.
Snow White: "An apple a day keeps the doctor away, right? But just to be sure… (flexes arm)…proteins are better."
Scene 6: The Prince’s Kiss
When the Prince arrives to awaken Snow White, he’s taken aback by Snow White’s size. However, he’s determined to break the spell. The moment is played for laughs, with the Prince struggling to lean over Snow White.
Prince: “I… I’ve come to break the spell…”
Snow White(waking up): “Did I hit the snooze button again?”
I’m only watching if it’s 100% serious. Terry acts as he acts and the entire rest of the movie is as written in the script. Full commit, no comedic rewriting. It’s just Terry playing Snow White.
I’ve always thought this would be a great idea. Play everything 100% straight but the actors are completely miscast. Give me Terry Crews as Snow White and I’ll actually go see a movie for the first time in like 10 years
Man. I don’t watch much movies but I’d watch this 10 times in row. If it’s a comedy or better…a serious comedy. The acting is serious but everything else isn’t.
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