It's Always Watching Me.
I'm not crazy.
It's just your eyes playing tricks on you, they said. Maybe you need to lay off watching TV before bed? As if what I've been seeing and hearing over these past few months has been all inside my head. How can they dismiss me? How can they not understand the danger I'm in? How can they not comprehend the immediate threat to my very life and ignore my pleas for help?! I'm so very tired, and I just don't know what to do anymore.
I'm writing this as a final effort, one more try to figure out what is hunting me..watching me..always watching me.
I'm not crazy, I'm not crazy.
It started as something I would see out of the corner of my eye, it would be so quick but I know what I saw was real. Over time it became more obvious, the flashes in the far reaches of my vision became quick reflections in the mirror. I'd blink and it would be gone, but the terror of what I saw would remain. I would see its dark, pale, and yet almost..beautiful eyes watching me. Staring at me from vents, from other cars as I drove, in my phone's camera when I'd go to take a picture, just watching me. Always watching me.
Forever silent, but so deafening I could not focus on anything else. Invisible to all else around me, but in plain sight.
I'm not crazy, I'm not crazy, I'm not crazy.
I tried seeking help. My friends, family, and co-workers all told me it was in my head. that I was making it up. I spoke to the police and I was laughed out of the station. Of course, they didn't believe me. They thought I was playing a trick or that I “might be crazy”. I thought maybe they were right, I sought out the aid of a shrink who was little help himself. I'd lay on his soft leather couch and tell him about the things I'd see. All while those dark, pale eyes and beautiful eyes were watching me.
Always, always watching me. It never sleeps, it never blinks, it never breaks its gaze on me and I even see it in my dreams.
I'm. Not. Crazy.
Now I'm just..so tired. I'm so tired of trying to explain, trying to rationalize, and trying to fight. I'm just so very tired. I can see it now, it's right in front of me. I see it as clearly as I can see this screen. It's staring at me over my laptop as I write what was supposed to be my last-ditch effort for help, for an explanation. Now, I think this shall be my eulogy. I feel a sense of calm washing over me as it's beginning to creep towards me. I can see all of it now. It's horrifying and yet...magnificent. All this time, I was afraid. Afraid of why it was watching, always watching.
Now, it's offering a hand. It wishes to take me away from all of this. As I stare into it'd dark..pale..and beautiful eyes. I feel...I feel...nothing. Absolutely...nothing and it's so...it's...so...peaceful.
I'm...I’m...not..crazy.
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