@SNerd@lor.sh avatar

SNerd

@SNerd@lor.sh

Purveyor of original comedy bronze humor - it’s a smaller niche market than comedy gold. #nerlingersjokes (yeah, I spelled it wrong but too lazy ti fix it) My hobbies are saying stupid stuff. I can’t think of any other hobbies. Proud to say I was on Twitter for about 2 weeks, 1 tweet, and Musk didn’t like it because I pointed out he inadvertently criticized Rupert Murdock, so he had my only tweet taken down.

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RickiTarr, to random
@RickiTarr@beige.party avatar

Okay, a little mystery also for today. After the Toxic Club, my
brother and I got a strawberry limeade at a little drive inn, and drove around this Conservation Area, but then we start seeing this fence with these signs, it's like 8 foot tall with lots of the fence totally blacked out, and these signs placed on them that say:

Saline Valley Ranch, No Hunting, No Trespassing

This fence went for miles, and miles had to be incredibly pricey to put in, it reminded me of the fence they'd have at a minimum security prison, but we didn't see cows, horses, crops, nothing but woods and hills and miles and miles of giant fence.

We try to find information about what it is, but there's basically nothing. My husband looks it up on Google Earth, and finds Little Saline Ranch, and I look it up, and it says permanently closed, and even less information is available about that. Google Earth shows lots of wooded land, a lake, and a few open fields, but we couldn't see any buildings or animals, nothing like that.

So, looking up that I find this article about mysterious happenings in the area:

https://www.cjonline.com/story/news/local/2018/10/31/hunting-ghosts-miller-county-other/9408986007

It mentions several people seeing a Bigfoot type cryptid in the area, so obviously the fence is to keep it in. My other guesses involve a government blacksite, as it isn't too far from and airforce base, or a doomsday cult, what do you all think?

SNerd,
@SNerd@lor.sh avatar

@RickiTarr
THEY HUNT PEOPLE THERE!

MissingThePt, to random
@MissingThePt@mastodon.social avatar

Who’s laughing at NASA now for buying the extended space probe warranty.
https://blogs.nasa.gov/voyager/2024/04/22/nasas-voyager-1-resumes-sending-engineering-updates-to-earth/

SNerd,
@SNerd@lor.sh avatar

@MissingThePt
I wonder how many kilobytes of storage that thing has

Alice, to random
@Alice@beige.party avatar

Thanks to everyone who came out to my set!

SNerd,
@SNerd@lor.sh avatar

@Alice
I missed it, but I bet it was a great set

MissingThePt, to random
@MissingThePt@mastodon.social avatar

In honor of Passover, Trump keeps an empty chair at his criminal trial for literally any member of his family.

SNerd,
@SNerd@lor.sh avatar

@MissingThePt
🤣Joke of the day!

SNerd, to random
@SNerd@lor.sh avatar

I can’t wait for the #trumptrials to see if any giant witches are found

SNerd, to random
@SNerd@lor.sh avatar

Chili with beans is a meal. Chili without beans is a condiment. If you give me a chili dog with beans on it, God help you. 👊

flexghost, to random
@flexghost@mastodon.social avatar

deleted_by_author

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  • SNerd,
    @SNerd@lor.sh avatar

    @flexghost
    I have a little more respect for those anti-abortionist that want no exceptions because if someone believes abortion is murder, then why would it not be murder in the case of incest or rape? 🤷

    emmreef, to TeslaMotors
    @emmreef@mastodon.world avatar

    Has ever considered berating the accelerator pedals on the on to see if that gets them unstuck?

    SNerd,
    @SNerd@lor.sh avatar

    @emmreef
    is going to release a software upgrade to make the handle better at high speeds

    RickiTarr, to random
    @RickiTarr@beige.party avatar

    Conservatives: Once again people are pushing the LGBTQ+ Agenda!

    SNerd,
    @SNerd@lor.sh avatar

    @RickiTarr
    It helps trans people sing better?

    SNerd, to random
    @SNerd@lor.sh avatar
    patrickworld, to random
    @patrickworld@mastodon.online avatar

    Look at this image while opening your eyes completely and you’ll see Nicholas Cage

    SNerd,
    @SNerd@lor.sh avatar

    @patrickworld
    Or is it John Travolta? 🤔

    Skepticat, to random
    @Skepticat@mstdn.social avatar

    My husband and I don’t keep score. Mostly because neither of us has that kind of memory capacity.

    SNerd,
    @SNerd@lor.sh avatar

    @Skepticat
    Why would anyone need to keep score when you always win?

    emmreef, (edited ) to random
    @emmreef@mastodon.world avatar

    [No context venting, not aimed at anyone here]

    "Turn the camera 90 degrees and take some pictures in landscape mode you fucking hillbillies. Everything you put out there is in portrait."

    SNerd,
    @SNerd@lor.sh avatar

    @emmreef
    Big fan of 🤣
    Tag that one

    RickiTarr, to random
    @RickiTarr@beige.party avatar

    It is Hilarious to me that after cats get to a certain age they rarely communicate with other cats through meowing. Cats are very good non-verbal communicators. They meow at us, because we are too dumb to understand, and they are baby talking to us.

    SNerd,
    @SNerd@lor.sh avatar

    @RickiTarr
    We got our dogs at a few months old. They’ve always barked at each other, other animals and other people, but have always howled at us. 🤷

    ianRobinson, to random
    @ianRobinson@mastodon.social avatar

    If I was on Jury service at that Trump trial I’d definitely say I couldn’t be fair and impartial. And then hightail it out if there the moment I was dismissed.

    SNerd,
    @SNerd@lor.sh avatar

    @ianRobinson
    I do the same. If I served they’d dig up my old comments and then demand a new trial 😂

    SNerd, to random
    @SNerd@lor.sh avatar

    Not to brag but I’m pretty sure I’d get hush money too if someone ever had sex with me

    rbreich, to random
    @rbreich@masto.ai avatar

    The top 10% of richest Americans own 87% of stocks.

    The top 1% alone own roughly half of all stocks.

    It's worth pointing out once again that the stock market is not the economy.

    SNerd,
    @SNerd@lor.sh avatar

    @rbreich
    They can crash the market at will and blame the President

    Alice, to random
    @Alice@beige.party avatar

    "I’m a lot to handle" I say as I douse myself in baby oil and start wiggling around like a naked Danny Devito trying to escape from a leather sofa.

    SNerd,
    @SNerd@lor.sh avatar

    @Alice
    Also hard to handle with all that baby oil

    johnmacintosh, to random German
    @johnmacintosh@swiss.social avatar

    The British Museum has a tablet that details why 40 employees in ancient Egypt missed work 3,270 years ago?
    This limestone “ostracon” is a register of attendance from “Year 40 of Ramses II” that offers a fascinating glimpse into work-life balance in Thebes in 1250 BC.

    Here are three common reasons for employee absences, translated directly from the tablet:

    • “Brewing beer”
    • “His wife/daughter was bleeding” (i.e., menstruating).
    • “The scorpion bit him”

    via Brian Roemmele from Twitter

    SNerd,
    @SNerd@lor.sh avatar

    @johnmacintosh
    They must have had an awesome union negotiator!

    Skepticat, to random
    @Skepticat@mstdn.social avatar

    When I spy with my little eye, a plant that a neighbor has placed in the trash and I want it... but don't want to look like that dumpster diver neighbor!

    SNerd,
    @SNerd@lor.sh avatar
    SNerd, to HashtagGames
    @SNerd@lor.sh avatar

    We didn’t have “earbuds” so we carried a portable stereo system on one shoulder

    #ExplainVintageTechnology
    #HashTagGames

    SNerd, to HashtagGames
    @SNerd@lor.sh avatar

    Before Madden Football kids used small plastic men on a field of vibrating metal


    SNerd, to random
    @SNerd@lor.sh avatar

    This is B.S. I wore my #eclipse glasses and I could barely even see the TV!

    rephlex00, to random
    @rephlex00@beige.party avatar

    I tried “work hard, play hard” but they told me it was inappropriate, grounds for termination, and something any grown man should be able to control.

    SNerd,
    @SNerd@lor.sh avatar

    @rephlex00
    After 4 hours you’re supposed to call the doctor

    SNerd, to random
    @SNerd@lor.sh avatar

    The Statue of Liberty hit by lightning, a total eclipse on Monday, and now a 4.7 earthquake in NJ. 🤔

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