My cat. Everyone would be played by cats. Untrained cats, just put them together in relevant places and roll camera. It’s art now.


I was thinking specific cats (a la Unsinkable Sam or Stationmaster Tama), but these newcomers need breakout roles too!


Hugh Grant, I’ve been told too many times. Same looks, same sheepish attitude


Please let it be Daniel Day Lewis. He’ll make me so much cooler and more brooding than I actually am. I love that man’s work.

Also, since he’s a method actor, he’ll have to be drunk 24h a day when he films the dark times when I dealt with horrible depression. I think he can pull it off. (I’m much better now, thanks.)

@sagrotan@lemmy.world avatar

Philip Seymour Hoffman. He lost the game a while back, but it could fit. Who else m idk. Who else is chubby, reasonable intelligent and has a drug problem??

@sxan@midwest.social avatar

Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson.

No similarity, but it’d be funny watching the director try to fit The Rock into a computer programming role; and also because - since it’s a movie - people would think that’s how I look.

@sagrotan@lemmy.world avatar

Question: on what occasion in your life did you hold a helicopter with bare hands? And why?

@sxan@midwest.social avatar

It’s my biography, not Dwayne’s! The heaviest thing he’ll hold in the biography will be the absurdly large Calvin & Hobbes Compendium.


Bradley Cooper. People always tell me I look like Bradley fuckin Cooper


I used to get the same thing with Edward Norton.


Dave Bautista. In a long wig. Haha


Alan Ritchson, of course


I'm a forgettable nobody, so, Michael Cera.

@jordanlund@lemmy.world avatar

David Anthony Higgins

@treechicken@lemmy.world avatar

Me of course. I mean I already got famous for being me so clearly I would be a good fit for the role.


Probably Keanu Reaves. We went to the same schools growing up and have similar ethnicity. I don’t actually remember him, though I must’ve passed him in the hall? He’s a few years my senior.


Matt Damon.

Similar size, shape, looks and both from the Boston area.

@spittingimage@lemmy.world avatar

Jack Black is the only real choice. In his messy beard phase.


I had a hard time thinking of someone even remotely matching my elaborate style and high class. This is exactly it. Jack Black, messy beard, clothing that looks like he dressed in a small, completely dark closet.


Ryan Gosling, Jake Gyllenhaal, and Timothee Chalamet. Not as one person blended together, but them having a threesome. Directed by Denis Villeneuve. Score by Vangelis.

That’s me.


I can imagine you so well

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