True Roman Memes For True Romans

probablynaked, in Imperial ripeness chart

these posts are dedication incarnate

PugJesus,
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In another life I was digging ditches for the Legions o7

livus,
livus avatar

Honestly one of my favourite things in the fediverse.

PugJesus, (edited ) in Imperial ripeness chart
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Explanation: Most would regard the Principate period of the Empire to be the height of Rome's power and prestige (here simply labeled as 'Roman Empire'), with the Eastern and Western Empires of the Dominate and Byzantine periods being in various states of decay.

The 'Holy Roman Empire', despite its name, was a MUCH later Medieval confederation of German states which often quarreled with the remnant state of the Byzantine Empire over who was the 'true' Rome. Despite my disgust for the Byzies, the Holy Roman Empire ain't even in the same ballpark as the Empire of old.

ReCursing,
ReCursing avatar

A friend likes to complain that the Holy Roman Empire Of The Germanic Peoples wasn't holy, wasn't Roman, wasn't an empire, and wasn't really German, he admits there might have been some people involved

JackLSauce, in "Yes! We're all the sole and unique successor to the Empire of old!"

Tomayto tomahto -> csar kaiser

PugJesus, in "Yes! We're all the sole and unique successor to the Empire of old!"
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Explanation: As the Roman Empire was an absolute juggernaut who reshaped the face of history, and especially European history, the number of countries who have claimed to be the TRUE successor of the Empire of old is... extensive.

PugJesus, in WE MUST CONSULT THE SACRED CHICKENS
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Explanation: The Romans were quite fond of omens of various kinds - one of the more popular variants being whether chickens (or other poultry) would eat before an important decision was made. If the chickens would eat - it was a positive omen - if they would not, or ate only reluctantly, it was an ill omen.

gibmiser, in ARE YOU NOT ENTERTAINED

Yeah but who won?

PugJesus,
PugJesus avatar

I don't know which is more funny - the idea of a 'gladiator' match being won by some weedy merchant punting a chicken over the Colosseum crowd, or by the chicken completely bodying the guy and the crowd going wild for their new champion.

NakariLexfortaine,

Don’t underestimate a chicken.

I’ll give it to the human 9 out of 10 times, but that 10th is the one who went for the eyes and succeeded.

Those feet are no joke. Sure, it’s probably not going to kill you, but you’re going to be in for a world of pain if things go wrong.

HootinNHollerin, in ARE YOU NOT ENTERTAINED

I hope this makes an appearance in a movie or show some day

PugJesus, in ARE YOU NOT ENTERTAINED
PugJesus avatar

Explanation: Gallienus was an Emperor during the tumultuous Crisis of the Third Century. Other than struggling with the series of uncontrollable disasters rolling over the Empire at that time (not his fault - poor sod just came to power at the wrong time), he's noted as having a sharp and engaged wit.

remotedev, in Those machines were whack

I thought they made oranges

PugJesus, in Those machines were whack
PugJesus avatar

Explanation: During the Siege of Syracuse during the Second Punic War, the Syracusans, utilizing the genius of the great philosopher and engineer Archimedes, created several ingenious devices to keep the Romans at bay, including ARCHIMEDES' CLAW and (supposedly) a GODDAMN HEAT RAY

It was not enough, however, to overcome the stubbornness of the Romans, who eventually took the city. Archimedes was killed in the process, despite the Roman commander giving orders for him to be taken alive because of his unparalleled genius. STTL!

niktemadur, in LUCANIAN COWS, RUN

Wait til me old gaffer hears about this!

PugJesus, (edited ) in High priority chicken
PugJesus avatar

Explanation: The Roman Emperor Honorius (who was a complete incompetent, mind), reigned in 410 AD, during the first sack of Rome in some 800 years.

At that time they say that the Emperor Honorius in Ravenna received the message from one of the eunuchs, evidently a keeper of the poultry, that Rome had perished. And he cried out and said, 'And yet it has just eaten from my hands!' For he had a very large cock, Rome by name; and the eunuch comprehending his words said that it was the city of Rome which had perished at the hands of Alaric, and the emperor with a sigh of relief answered quickly: 'But I thought that my fowl Rome had perished.' So great, they say, was the folly with which this emperor was possessed

PugJesus, in LUCANIAN COWS, RUN
PugJesus avatar

Explanation: The Romans were not particularly familiar with elephants during the early-to-mid Republic. When Pyrrhus of Epirus first confronted them with elephants, they were called 'Lucanian Cows' (Luca Bos) because they were first seen in Lucania.

The elephant is shown coming over the mountain, as about 60 years later, the Carthaginian general Hannibal Barca would lead an army of mercenaries with war elephants over the Alps to attack Italy.

Cypher, (edited ) in I must study you for science!

Phrenology… Developed by German physician Franz Joseph Gall in 1796

You made me go looking into whether or not Romans used phrenology, I am both relieved and annoyed that I learnt more about a ridiculous pseudoscience!

PugJesus, in I must study you for science!
PugJesus avatar

Explanation: Scipio Africanus was actually amicable towards his nation's enemy, Hannibal Barca, but Roman-Carthage enmity is always funny.

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